A
female
age
51-59,
*inni
writes:Hi - I need help at this point in my life! I have met a wonderful woman - we met through an internet dating site. Everything was amazing from the very start - a great friendship, common interests, physical attraction, the best sex I have ever had in my life!! etc. etc. She told me she loved me and told her friends and family that I was the special woman in her life. Then, after several weeks she suddenly said that she could not see me any more. Her reason? Because she is so messed up from her last relationship (with a man)that she can't let herself feel too much for anyone. She said she just can't do the relationship thing...Well, understandably, I am confused and hurt because I really love her - the first love in a long, long time. Should I just leave things? Not grasp for explanations or clarification? Just let her go? Thanks for any advice it is really appreciated.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 November 2009):
 This is depressingly common. Especially as we get older (we get more baggage I guess...)
Echo I right. I would add that you can gently keep connected to her without pushing for a relationship. She is probably desperate for one, but terribly afraid of being hurt. So be a safe place she can come visit, and place no demands on her. Get to know each other, whilst making it clear you do find her attractive hold back from doing anything more. Trust takes time to build: focus on that before trying to turn this back into a sexual relationship.
A
female
reader, winni +, writes (19 November 2009):
winni is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for this insight... this is what my heart is saying but just don't know how to go about it. Does anyone else have any ideas/thoughts/advice? This is really, really important to me...my heart is aching.
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A
female
reader, winni +, writes (19 November 2009):
winni is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for this insight... this is what my heart is saying but just don't know how to go about it. Does anyone else have any ideas/thoughts/advice? This is really, really important to me...my heart is aching.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): you should stay with her i am in the same situatuion and im sticking right through it. it depends on if you love her enough. if you do stay with her help her through it soon she will be better. but if you dont drop if off qucikly before you guys have any more pain. best wishes~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): If this is the woman you really love you cannot let her go. You need to fight for her, the moment you let her slip she'll be gone forever. Dont leave her to sort out her past help her through it talk to her and try to understand,good luck
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