A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so i have a good friend and she started going out with this guy about 3 months ago who is an absolute arsehole.. he actually reminds me a lot of my exboyfriend whom i was with for 3 years which only ended in heartbreak... its so hard seeing her put herself in the same situation i was in.. when i say her bf is an arsehole i mean i think he has drug induced bipolar as he does a lot of drugs and snaps into foul moods randomly and will blow up at her for no reason, foul temper.. hes threatened to hit me before, saying he didnt want her to hang out with me coz im a bad influence pfft.. called me a slut, a whore and anything else horrible he could say because he aparently doesnt like me because at a party a month or two ago he started smoking crystal meth and as my ex was addicted to it ive seen the worst of it and i just said to him dont dance with the devil and its not worth it.. i realise you should never approach someone about drugs when theyre on them so i appologised and i thought he got over it but it appears thats not the case.. the two of them are clearly in love but i think as its her first boyfriend shes more in love with the idea of a boyfriend and someone to make her feel loved/ beautiful yet i can see how this relationship is very distructive to her.. since shes been with him shes always negative and unhappy and anytime shes having a girl night, he'll call her and say if she doesnt come to his place now then its over between them so she cant even enjoy the time she spends with her friends.. ive spoken to her a lot about it and told her about my past experiences and how it scares me so much that i can see her relationship is headed to where mine was.. she listens and agrees yet always runs back to him..what can i do?? i mean should i just leave her to experience it and learn it for herself?? or any ideas of what i can do to help her avoid the worst.. i never want anyone to feel the way i did in my past relationship..????
View related questions:
drugs, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2009): thanks for your advise guys.. really appreciate it.. your right i guess all i can really do is be here for her when she needs me..
to the annonymous writer.. do u know what the name of the movie was?? i want my friend to see it! :)
cheers
A
male
reader, Logan58  +, writes (24 September 2009):
Oh my gosh. tell her she should leave his ass.. He sounds like a REAL ARSE... and the drugs and negative attitude make it SO much worse. Hun, I know a girl can feel like she is loved so she wont leave, but she needs to come to her senses. NO BOYFRIEND should EVER be threatening his girlfriend if she dont come over to his house, and should never lash out at her. Thats completely unacceptable...and quite honestly, she should break up with him in a public place, because he sounds way too abusive, and I fear for her if they do it in a private place. She obviously needs to leave his drugged butt in the dirt, and go out with someone that is worth her time
...............................
A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (23 September 2009):
 I think the only thing you can do for your friend is voice your concerns to her as you've already done & hope that she will listen. Even though we don't like to see it happen, some people just have to learn on their own. Be it sooner or later she will realize the mistakes that shes making with this relationship & come to her senses, when she does...be there for her with open arms :)
On the other hand, her boyfriend can have his issues or whatever else with anybody else: but YOU don't have to tolerate being mistreated by him. He doesn't have a right to do that & he should know so. Bipolar or not is not a reason to go around disrespecting & calling others out of their names.
I'll keep you & your friend in my prayers, I hope she leaves this guy soon enough while she can.
Best wishes!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): OK i was in your position a little while back, unfortunately my friend is very stubborn and no matter what anyone said she was gonna do what she wanted and i knew that. the only thing you're gonna be able to do is give your input whether she wants to hear it or not, you also need to confront her about it and tell her that she says one thing and does another. Do you think she's going back to this guy because she likes the attention? if so, tell her that! also set her up with other guys and show her that she deserves better, but remember you are on her side and even though you might not agree with her choices you have to be understanding or she will start pulling away from you too. the biggest thing is to just be there for her through it all no matter what.Good Luck and i hope everything works out!!PS my friend ended up getting over this guy because of something she saw in a movie even though it was exactly what i had been telling her all along.
...............................
|
