A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my partner for almost 2 yrs and we have a baby girl. I have a hard time talking to him or even getting him to take me seriously. We have had a lot of problems since we had our baby, nothing seems to be good enough for him. I've been trying to control my anger, but he always knows what to say to get me angry. Then he tells me, "you don't want to change", but he doesn't make it any easier. He acts as if he doesn't care about me or our relationship. It seems like I'm the only one trying to save this relationship and I dont know what to do anymore. I've told him he needs to work on his anger and his attitude towards me, but he dosent seem to care. The more I'm with him the more I start to hate him. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work or should I just move on?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThats the problem I do want to go to counseling but he always brings up this racial crap saying only white people do that and he sounds so stupid. It seems to me like he will make up anything just to get out of counsling. I relize I have anger issues, but he says he doesn't, so he says Im the only one with a problem. It's really hard to even get him to listen to me Im just really frustrated with this situation.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2011): Hold on. You have a baby. You are having anger control issues. What you need is a third party at this point, to help you figure out what is going on first.Get a counselor, don't accept "no" for an answer, and see that counselor together.It probably won't be easy...but neither of you have been in this position before and you might find out that what you "think" isn't what is actually happening.My wife and I had this problem, after children, she thought I didn't want her any more, thought I was angry or dissapointed with her all the time, and was frankly afraid that I was going to leave her at any given time for someone who was sexier, younger, thinner, smarter, etc, etc, etc.Reality was that I was totally besotted with her, and the children, and nothing she was thinking was "real" no my end...but is was "very real" on her end. Counseling really helped.Children bring stress, fatigue, worry, etc...for both partners. This can trigger all our insecurities.
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A
female
reader, leylaness  +, writes (26 January 2011):
 The first thing you need to do is be apart straight away!!! Im sure you agree that your child should not see anger or her father putting her mother down. As young as she is she will understand that something’s not right . Once you temporarily separate go and seek help for your anger, blame your partner for it is the wrong attitude and will not help you in the long run. Then go to couples therapy and try to get your relationship back on track. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, JaZminny +, writes (26 January 2011):
 Maybe if you try finding out what is causing all his anger or stress u can find a way to fix the problem or try to help if that don't work and he keeps being a jerk let him know your not going to be there with him if he keeps up that same attitude
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