A
female
age
30-35,
*nkmouse
writes:So I've been in a relationship with "A" for almost 3 years now. In the past 6 months or so I've been "dumped" 3 times by him.It's always the same situation. He is feeling depressed and unsuccessful in his life and things aren't going his way, he starts getting grumpy and distant and then he tells me he doesn't feel like he can put enough into the relationship to make me happy or to "provide for me" the "things I need."Every time I give him a few days to cool off then I explain to him that I love him, even when he's in a bad mood and that he can have space when he needs it, but he needs to make a reasonable request (not 'go away until I feel better').I tell him that I want to be there with him in the bad times AND the good and I don't need him to give me anything but the same love and support. He tells me he loves me and doesn't want to lose me.To give you some back story: He is 28, I'm 23. He isn't cheating, never has and is not the type to even hit on girls- he's shy and just not into picking up chicks in bars or that type of thing. I recently moved out of his, we are attempting to learn to live on our own and take care of ourselves because we think it's an important life skill. We get along great when we are together, we have the same sense of humor. I love him to bits and I want more than anything for this to work for us.Can anyone give me any advice or insight? Thank you :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 April 2013):
 he's dumped you in the past 6 months 3 times?
for how long?
personally I think you are taking a lot of "abuse" from him in the name of love.
good relationships have spats... disagreements but they don't have regularly scheduled breaking up times... they don't have breaks...
if he's a depressive who is not being treated for his depression properly then your relationship will always be a roller coaster of breaking up and making up... is that what you want?
A
female
reader, Expat Girl +, writes (22 April 2013):
I think marriage is the answer. He needs a little stability in his life. I can tell that you really love him.
He will get better as he gets older. He just needs a little more self confidence.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (22 April 2013):
He is very lucky to have a girl that loves him so much.It not easy on you to handle the situation when he is depressed.Maybe his depression is the problem and when he feels overload he cant handle and dumps you.Would you consider suggesting to him to go to a counsellor and discuss his depression and you could if he wished go with him for support.Kind Wishes Nora B.
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