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Should I keep talking to him? Or distance myself?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 29 January 2009)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I met this guy at the mall and we started talking. He asked me out on a date, now he doesnt have a car so ive had to go pick him up the times we've gone out. He is about to turn 22 and he is still in his party/club/drinking stage. I know he doesn't want a grilfriend, from looking at his myspace,he talks to a lot of girls and is a flirt! He has told me "not to like him so much" and when he said that I responded with an "I know because you will hurt me" this guy never stops talking, but when i said that he was speachless. We've been out on 3 dates to dinner movies bowling, but the fourth time we got together it was at his house and had sex. I dont know if to keep talking to him or distance myself from him. At the moment I dont want a relationship either, but if i keep seeing him and sleeping with him I'm afraid that I will get hurt.

View related questions: flirt, myspace

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A female reader, happytochat Australia +, writes (29 January 2009):

Even though you may not want a relationship now, I think continuing to see him would be a bad idea. This is because, you clearly do have feelings for him- you didnt just have sex with him because you wanted to fulfil your sexual needs. So eventually, you probably will get hurt, unless a miricle happens and he suddenly wants a relationship, but I highly doubt that- dont wait around for him to change.

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A female reader, PeanutButter United States +, writes (29 January 2009):

PeanutButter agony auntI think that you know this guy may hurt you but you like him enough to get intimate with him knowing that it won't become anything more. By doing that you're either denying it to yourself that nothing more is going to happen or you're setting yourself up to get hurt anyway because sometimes we do crazy stuff when we like someone that much.

You say you don't want a relationship right now, then perhaps the best thing to do is to just revert to being friends and let him realise that you're not there for him for sex - see where the friendship goes in the future and just remember to let yourself be content with just being friends and keep the intimacy for another day, if more is to come of it in the future.

Chances are he'll respect you a lot more for not being the girl he can sleep with sans commitment. chances are, you'll respect yourself for it a lot too and save yourself a lot of heartache.

All the Best

xxx

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