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female
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*assey1490
writes: Hello, I met this boy over the internet. He is the same age as me and he is everything I ever dreamed of. He is honest, he makes me smile, we have a lot in common but not too much, otherwise that would get boring. The only bad thing is he lives in Canada and I live in the U.K. Before I met Fred, I kind of had an open relationship with another boy called Bob. He told me that he didn't want the 'relationship' to go any further. A few days later, Fred ask me to be his girlfriend. I told Bob about Fred and he got really annoyed with me saying how stupid I am being and that it is never going to work, calling Fred a liar even though they have never met! Fred said to me 'Cassey, I love you and I fell in love with you when I first started talking to you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, will you marry me?' I am pretty sure that if we are still going strong and we are old enough then I would marry him, but it all seems too perfect to be true. I told him we should meet before planning things like marriage. I talk to Fred on the phone and webcam so I am pretty sure he isn't some old perverted paedophile. Bob is still guilt tripping me by reminding me of all the good times we had together. I just want to know, should I keep going out with my dream guy, beautiful in every way that lives 3000 miles away, or a guy that lives near my house that is nowhere near perfect and is really hard to work out and doesn't want to make a commitment at the moment?? Please reply. I really need people's help. Sorry if this is really long, but I explained it quite briefly. Thank You.
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female
reader, caroline25 +, writes (29 August 2005):
i think you should really have met the guy in person befre you decide to get married. Contact over the internet is really different from face to face contact. I kind of have the same problem. We decided we have to meet first, before we take any steps
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female
reader, jade +, writes (20 August 2005):
what i would do is follow my heart and so should you if you want to spend the rest of your with the lad in canada then you do that as long as it makes you happy
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 July 2005):
 It sounds like you've already made your mind up, doesn't it?
My suggestion is that you don't make a commitment with either one. You're obviously really young, so why do anything to tie yourself to any guy right now? Why not enjoy "Fred" for his North American take on life and "Bob" for his local friendship and leave the marriage plans for ten or so years down the track?
"Bob" may just be worried that you're falling too fast for someone that you don't really know much about. (I know I am.) He may or may not be jealous of your friendship with "Fred" and he may or may not be your ultimate life partner. So why worry about it? Nobody's forcing you to pick one of the two!
It's very easy to get swept up in the romantic notion of chatting with a stranger from another country, but unless there's at least some remote chance of you two meeting, there isn't much long-term future in it.
Don't forget that not everything on the internet is what it's advertised to be, so it's at least possible that your "perfect" dream guy is tailoring his conversation to meet what you're most likely to want to hear. Being friends on the Web and being friends in real life are different kettles of fish.
I don't know how old you are, but it sounds like you're in the vicinity of your mid-teens. You don't need "committment" from any boys at this time of your life. What you need are supportive friends who care about you. Maybe that should be your paradigm just now.
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