A
female
age
36-40,
*r.2.be
writes:I have a problem. Please bear with me as this is really long. Sorry in advance. :-( There is this guy that keeps calling me and asking me to date him. He seemed nice at first and was really interested in what I was doing and reaching for in my future. I met him online while I was in NJ interning at Xenogen Research. I am from florida and I live in florida and go to school down there. I was up here temporarily. I told him I would be back for the spring semester and he offered to help me move back into my house. I said sure and was really glad that he offered. Then a week before I was to come back to florida, he IM'd me and started getting funny. He said he really wanted to be alone with me, thought, I was beautiful and that he likes how I am smart. He proceeded to tell me that he wanted to have sex with me and "fool around." I'm not too crazy about having sex and fooling around on the first date and I told him I wasnt too keen on the idea, especially since my little sister and parents were helping me move back in, but he could give me a kiss if he felt comfortable. He replied saying. "Kiss?? come on your a wuss." I asked him if he was serious and he said "yes duhh you need to have sex in risky places, obviously your not a normal girl." He was really demanding and forceful during that whole conversation. I didnt talk to him for a couple weeks or so and he just recently started texting me and iming me again asking for a date. I told him I need to get some time between work, class, studying I dont have much time at all. He started making me feel really guilty heres how the convo went:Guy: "If you were really a good girl, you would make time for me.Me: How am I supposed to do that? Between work, class, studying, lab I have no time to myself except when I go running.Guy: Nights?Me: I dont go to bed till 11pm-1am and im up at 6am. I do the bulk of my studying at night and I prefer to sleep when im done.Guy: Why not be with me?Me: cause I have to get up early, and I wanna sleep. Dont worry we can make time, one weekend when I don't have an exam comming up. Im so sorry that I keep doing this but school is very important to me and its my priority.Guy: I dont believe you, that's not a good excuse.Me: Its good enough for me, you prolly hooked up with girls who dont study at all. I want to become a doctor and medicine takes a lot of time and udying.Guy: WhateverHe contacted me again wednesday and asked me if he could come over. I said I was studying and I offered Saturday. I dont have an exam until next monday so I could go out with him. (my plan was to go out with him once, and maybe he will leave me alone after he finds out in person how academic I am.) So we made a date for tonignt (saturday) I figured I would spend the day studying my neurophysiology and then go out with him and see what hes about. He texted me last night asking me to help him out.....with sex. I said no. He said then give me head. I was like I dont know about that. He kept asking me why not and i just ignored him. I dont know about that date at all, he's really demanding, doesn't leave me alone and in the past he has said really sketchy stuff to me such as: "You better be on the pill cause I don't use a condom, even if your not im still fucking you without one and if we have a kid im marrying you." "You need to give me head at least on the first night." "Your options are FWB or relationship nothing else." "Gimme head before we go out or else ima gonna be horny all night."I don't know what to do, he creeps me out and I kind of caved in cause I am sick of him bothering me. I am supposed to go out with him tonight but I much rather stay home and study neurophysiology. If I don't go out he's gonna put me down and tear me apart, like he has done before when I had to study. I wanna get out of this I don't know what he is going to do and I don't wanna put him down and hurt his feelings. I don't even know if he will text me so should I just wait until he texts me and if he doesn't don't bother?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): Aww- well done! So glad to hear you didnt lower your self to seeing such a horrid aggressive guy- and who was being so pushy and rude towards you! You sound lovely, you deserve to be treated sooo much better! Good luck with you work! :-)
A
female
reader, dr.2.be +, writes (8 March 2009):
dr.2.be is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey I appreciate all of your replies. I didnt go out with him. Instead I stayed in the library all evening getting my work done!! So I wasnt even home! Im so glad I didnt go out with him cause he was really sketchy. Everyone here just confirmed my thoughts. Thanks again!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): be very afraid- run, run very fast away from him
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A
male
reader, Helpful_In_Ohio +, writes (7 March 2009):
 If he makes you feel like this now and he demands Things from you and your not even ( his ) woman its not gonna get better at all . I also have to say that he has to have some STD or something. Use your Head Sweetheart your smart and you knwo better
Use what god gave you . . .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): As a guy speaking....no way! dont go anyway near him he is just after one thing and he sounds like a lot of trouble.
If I were you I would put him sraight on "ignore" on your IM. and forget him. Who knows how he will treat you if he is so aggressive online.
Mike.
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A
female
reader, Annieapple  +, writes (7 March 2009):
He sounds awful! Do not see him again. He seems like he has no respect for you whatsoever and is likely to be the type of guy who would be extremly controlling in a relationship or even violent
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): Stay away from this guy. He obviously has problems, and I think that if he gets alone with you he will try to force you to do something.
If he's coming on this strong now, then just imagine how bad it will be in person.
He obviously doesn't respect you, or he would understand how important your academics are to you.
I say that you not go out with him tonight, and maybe make plans to be with friends so that you aren't at home in case he shows up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): This guy sounds like a jerk! And immature. I would cancel if I were you. He sounds like the type who would force you to do things that you dont want to do and you never want to put yourself in that situation! Sounds like you have good judgement, use it! You have to protect yourself from creeps like this. Good luck and let me know what you decided.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2009): go on a date with him but don't do it without condom don't do it without condom he might have aids neways if u really like him u should have sex with him and c if he's still there with u after u guys do sex for one month , if he really loves u he'll be with u forever and by the way wats his age ? and relations like this dosent last longer so u should only do it for fun and conc on ur studies as well
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A
female
reader, Legioness +, writes (7 March 2009):
 :-O .... Dont contact the guy, seriously, he sounds like he's only out for one thing and will do whatever he can to get it, from what you've said, in my opinion, I wouldn't put it past him to force himself upon you. Honestly I think, for your own safety, do not meet this guy, cease all contact with him and get on with your life!
good luck :D
x
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