A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and this guy have been talking now for almost 4 months. We are in a long distance "relationship", though we aren't official. He came back home two weeks ago and we hung out almost everyday all day. He met my mom, brother, and friends; and I met his dad, brother, and friends. We had perfect chemistry and the sex was amazing. Now that he's gone back something's different. I've noticed that he hasn't been taking as much effort to reply to my texts. He manages to call me every night but the talks aren't that long anymore 40 minutes tops when it used to be 3 hours long every night. We still have a great connection..I can feel it..when we do talk. Maybe I'm overreacting because I'm ready to commit to him and make it official..idk. Also, when we started talking he said he doesn't really like long distance relationships..but before he left our home town he said he still wants to be with me and only me. So should I just wait for him until he's ready or what? Sometimes I think I overthink these things..so, I just need some advice lol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand how a long distance relationship works and that's what I want with him. I'm just not sure if that's what he wants. He's sending mixed signals. Maybe I was overreacting with the amount of time we talk though. I texted him and told him tht I want to talk about us and where we are headed. If it's just a casual and open relationship or if he is wanting be more serious and make it official. We will talk later tonight when he gets off work. :/
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 June 2014):
 You don't say how far apart you are or how often you see each other. these things have bearing on whether or not an LDR will work.
When my husband and I were LDR we were a 2 hour drive apart. After the first 3/4 months we were getting serious and we started spending nearly ever weekend together. I would normally drive up to see him. after a year he moved to be with me.
Part of being in an LDR is the goal that it wont' be LDR forever... so if you are LDR and both in school, then it's probably not going to last all that long...
There were days my husband and I had a total of 5 minutes on the phone.
You can't talk to someone 3 hours every night... it's just not reasonable. yes I get you miss him and want chatting...
there were days when my husband and I would talk maybe 5 minutes total over the entire day and then there were days we talked for hours.
even now... we have days where we live in the same house and don't talk. In the mornings we don't really talk because he's not awake. Sometimes he will call from work.. other times not. Often when I get home from work he's asleep and I don't wake him... so for example yesterday.. we emailed and talked once on the phone during the day but that was the extent of our contact all day other than sleeping in the same bed.
my advice is to consider how you are going to make this LDR work over time.. when is the next time you will see him?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014): Dear Anonymous Female,
Long distance relationships have many advantages such as: exploring hidden talents, focusing on career upper mobility, volunteering, and the list goes on. Possibly view your relationship as an opportunity to prepare yourself for the future; instead of viewing the situation as "waiting for him until he's ready". Taking this time to make sure you are ready for a commitment can be very beneficial in a long-lasting relationship. Yes, patience can be a great characteristic.
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