A
female
age
30-35,
*oveMeNena
writes:Ok so here we go, it mite get a little lengthy but bear with me please. So I am 17 and was with a 21year old. (Please no comments on that) We we're together about 5months and grew, unexpectedly, very strong feelings for each other. We had a rough relationship with the age difference and all wich only made us stronger. Well recently I moved about 6hours away from him to stay with my dad for a while. Things got hard and he wanted a break at least till I'm 18. Yea I highly doubt that. We still talk as friends and it's very hard for me. He says a relationship isn't what he wants right now, that he's too focused on himself. Yet when we talk he still flirts and acts the same as before. He recently told me he loves me, wich he only said once to me before during hard times, and he misses me. Though sometimes he doesn't even seem like he cares. If feels as thuogh I'm the 21year old and he's 17. He gives the worst mixed signals. It hurts so bad when we talk and I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with. When I talk to other guys I subconsciously compare them to him and they don't seem good enough. It's been close to a month now and I don't know if I should stop talking to him all together or if I'm just overreacting. I love him.
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female
reader, LoveMeNena +, writes (22 July 2011):
LoveMeNena is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you both so much I greatly appreciate the advise! As for the unknown reader, the advise was long yes but very helpfull and nice to you know you have a sense of where I'm coming from. Thanks
A
female
reader, hot-n-cold-2010 +, writes (19 July 2011):
 love is hard thing! I would talk to him about how you feel and where you stand in all this and see what he says if honestly wants to be with you one day and loves you and doesnt plan on dating anyone else then i dont see the difference in not dating but see what he says and when he tells you what ever he may tell you i think you will have a better idea of how you feel about it and wether you want to keep it up or give up on him but the best of wishes to you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): Well hello there! i hear you! I started dating a 25 yr old when i was younger than you are! So dont you worry about me not understanding. I broke up with my boyfriend 8 months after we started dating. I broke up with him because he did give me mixed signals too. He was busy for a while with his job and then when he came online he'd much sooner talk to others than to me... He took me for granted and he was always flirting with other girls and i couldnt take it so i left him. I loved him back then, but i cant stand the sight of him now... Sweety, there is one thing i know for sure: if he loves you as much as he says he does, then he would say it more often. BELIEVE ME. I KNOW. I know its difficult. I felt heartaches too when i broke up with that guy BUT I AM MUCH BETTER! My advice is that you leave him and dont waste your time on him, because sincerely hunni, if he's too focused on himself now,, imagine what it would be like if you get married... There's a saying that goes: where there's a doubt, there's a "dont". He wants to go on a break, so he's doubting. I know it hurts, but i dont think there is a future between you two. For you, yes.. but a relationship is between 2 people and both need to work to make it last. You're working on it, just like i tried too... but he's just not making the effort, hunni. My advice is that you clear things up with him. Ask clear questions "do you believe that there's a future between us??" "do you imagine us getting married or am i wasting my time?" "if you love me, then why arent we a couple?" "why do you need to take a break?" " what about MY feelings?" things like that. depending on what he says, you'll know. FOLLOW YOUR INTUITION. Dont make the mistake i made. The first thing that pops to your mind is the right answer. Usually we assume something but then we trick ourselves using a positive excuse such as "No, he'd never do that :)" If you end up staying with him and he continues his behaviour and you continue feeling heartaches about the way he's treating you, best to let him go immediately. Dont let anyone waste your time, sweety. Life is short. If you end up breaking up with him: surround yourself with positivity (ITS DIFFICULT, BUT ITS HEALING TO YOUR SOUL. I PROMISE YOU!) You need to surround yourself with positive things, and this means: eating well and regularly, going out with friends to set your mind off of it, watching comedies instead of romantic or horror films, ditch sad songs (unless you REALLY feel you need to cry). And dont worry about talking to a friend about it. Talking's healthy :) Surround yourself with the best people in your life :) PS. I know this advice is VERY VERY long, but im giving you a pre-talk to ALL possible situations and how to deal with each one if they happen :) Trust me, because i know what im talking about! 3 Best of luck!
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