A
male
age
30-35,
*aydating
writes:ok, many of you know some of the story since I have asked a couple of questions regarding to this. anyway, I met a guy online (I'm gay btw) like 2 months ago. i'm 19 and he's about to turn 24 this week. everything seemed fine at the beginning, we went out to eat/ movies, and I went to his house liek 3 times. and the last 2 times we saw each other, we kinda fooled with each other a bit. everything was fine, but I think he lost interest in me or something but things started to change. and well now we barely talk ( we havent talked like for a week now). and very awkward things happened. Like he all of the sudden tells me that he misses his ex, and that he was feeling sad. SO the next day, I went to his house to give him some chocolates that I bought for him to cheer him up. It was kinda late I must say, he was about to go to sleep, so he didnt opened the door. he texted me to tell me to go to his house another day, but I was already at his house (outside) when I got the text. so I rang the bell, and he didnt opened the door. he called me and he told me that it wasnt a good idea cuz he just had gotten out of the shower, that he didnt had his contacts and blah blah. I told him that I wasnt even going to take a min, I told him that I was going to give him something, and yet when I told him that I wasnt going to take more than a min, he told me to come back the next day ( i'm pretty sure he was with someone else) anyway, so I told him that I was going to put what I had for him at his door...things got messy after that. he deleted me as a friend on facebook, because supposedly he thought i was going to write mean things on his wall. things kinda got cleared,so we are friends on facebook again. Later, I found out that we started to get to know each other right after a week or two after he broke up with his ex. I apologized for putting pressure on him and he apologized too. he apologized too because supposedly he thought that he was going to be able to start a new relationship. but I mean, I know he used me as a rebound but oh well. we decided to stay as friends ( I told him that I was going to give him time so he could get over his past relationship) he told me he needed time by the way. but what makes me mad, is that even when I told him that I was going to wait til he was ready, he didnt tell me that he wasnt interested in me as a bf. I mean he knew i was looking for a bf since that's what I stated in my this ad online. than later I discovered he had two accounts on a dating site ( he stopped using one after I told him that I knew it was him) he told me he just had it to check if his ex was back again on using that site. oh well, then I found out he created another account, I sent him a message to that account and he didnt respond) so I decided to move on and stay friends with him ( I started to have feelings for this guy btw). Ok, so I know he's seeing some one else already, and well I'm going to let him go. his bday is in this week and I dont know what to give him. I just kinda want to tell him happy bday and maybe give him something simple. something that shows him that he's really important to me (as friends) and that I'm going to be there for him in case he needs help or whatever. but I dont want to show him that Im still interested in him...what should I give him? he's more of a traditional guy, and he's not really flamboyant so roses and things like that are a definitively no. I dont know what to do, should I just stop talking to him and not wish him a happy bday?
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male
reader, aaringurl  +, writes (19 April 2011):
Yes get him something. Greet him on his birthday. If I were you, I'd get him something,(I can't really suggest something because I don't know the guy) maybe a card/letter. I'd write in it everything, the angst I have, the love, the wanting, the apology.. everything. And after giving that, I'd lose contact with him. I would totally detach. This way, I could take care of myself more, and I won't have any avenue of thinking about him. You just wait, because , if he likes you, he, himself would make the effort of getting in touch with you again. Sometimes, people need their space, and if he needs his, then give it to him. So, we won't appear so wanting of him. P.S. Give him something unusual, something he won't forget! But don't be naughty!
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