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age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Had this friend for several years, always liked him, then last June we just hit it off and said we loved each other. We are made for each oter. We have the same interests, the same view on life, we have so much fun together... it's just, you know, the glow of love! It's awesome. Thing is, he's from my country but lives abroad. Of course we want to be together and we've been doing a little back and forth in the past few weeks(it's just a 2hr plane ride). Concerning our future, what we've come up with is this: we will move in together in Feb in the country where he is. And the reason why we're not doin it now is because if I left my job in Feb then I'd be able to start it again in Sept in case something goes wrong with my bf (I can't handle such a change, can't find a proper job in the new country...), if I left my job now, instead,I woulnd't be able to pick it up ever again. Thing is, I don't believe in long distance. It physically hurts how much I miss him. It's terrible and awful. Do you think I should just quit my job and go? Or is it better to keep my options open, he starts looking for a house in the meantime then I'll just move in Feb?You know, it's a pretty big life-changing decision on my side and I'm afraid I might lose him if we wait till Feb (he of course says he'll always be there for me and a bunch of long distance months won't make any difference). What do you guys think? Am I crazy?
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female
reader, PerhapsNot  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 First of, how long have you been dating? I know you stated that you've known him for years as friends, but how long have you actually been involved with him romantically? If it's only a couple of months, you're looking at the wold in rose colored glasses and acting on emotions rather than common sense."Do you think I should just quit my job and go? Or is it better to keep my options open, he starts looking for a house in the meantime then I'll just move in Feb?"Let me preface this by saying that I'm in a long distance relationship with my fiance. Believe me, if you two love each other and you're both willing to make sacrifices, the February dead-line will not make or break your relationship. If waiting a couple of months are grounds for a break-up, it's not an enduring, sacrificial, and loyal love. Instead of fretting about how much you want to move and be with him, why not focus your energy on applying to jobs where you intend to move? Do something proactive that will make your transition easier and successful. As you said, if you don't find "a proper job" in the new location, you'll be forced to move back. We all need an income, so why would you even think of quitting your job, knowing you would not get it back if you decide to move back? You need to think about your financial situation and your financial well-being. I know it's not particularly romantic or exciting, but it's incredibly important.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): He really has nothing to lose and you will be uprooting your life and your employment so you are taking ALL the risks. He should at the very least give you a ring and I wouldn't move without it. Without it, you alone will be taking the leap of faith.
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