A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm in my late 20s and my boyfriend in his early 30s.. I've been seeing him for 3 months now. He is such an affectionate, loving.. but one problem is, he rarely initiates contact, and NEVER asks me out. I always contact him, and always ask him out. I've mentioned to him a few times to call me more, he said he would but never does. He doesn't hang around with friends and is looking for a job, so it's not like he's busy 24/7. He did tell me a few times he's not a phone person, but he's always checking his phone to see if anyone has called.. I don't know where I stand in his life when we're not together. He says he loves me, and wants to marry me. In person, he is very affectionate. I only usually call once a day, and sometimes send one or two texts. He will always return my calls and reply to my messages. When I ask him out, usually he never says no.. but I feel this is one sided. He was married once before, but before that has never been involved with anyone.It's really starting to bug me and I can't help crying. I feel even if I tell him how I feel, he'll still be oblivious.How do I make him realise that relationships take two people's equal effort? It feels that I want him more than he wants me.. please advice what I should do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your advice, I'm going to take a step back now and see what happens... Will update you! xx
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): stop calling and txtg. That way you will find out if he,s genuine. It,s your only way forward. He may call once or twice to get you calling him again. Don.t fall for it! Just back right off,and see what he does. When you get the urge,just fight it. Let us know how you get on. X
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): He'll never do the work if you keep doing it all for him! Stop what you are doing so he has a chance to call, ask you out, and pursue you! Get busy with life and put down the technology and let him miss you..he'll come around. It's going to take some self control for you to change your habits but if you want him to take your relationship by the reigns, you'll back off so he'll have a chance before you beat him to it.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 WHY should he bother to initiate contact and/or ask you out????? He's got you trained to do it for him...
I'd guess he has to make sure his wife isn't around when he speaks to you... and that also limits how much time he can spend with you....
Is this clear enough?????
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