A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Where do I start?My life for the past few months has been hellish at best. I recently graduated from high school(in May). once that happened everything seemed to fall apart. i moved in with my bf's family in may-november, but we broke up in september. i was in a relationship with him for 3 years, we were engaged, and everything was great until one day he told me he just fell out of love with me.i was hurt, yes, but i guess i felt the same way bc it didnt really upset me very much.about a week later, he got together with this whore.and i met someone online.we were penpals and we got really close, we would talk on the phone for many many many hours a night, and we would text and send each other letters, talk online, every day and night.we were unofficially together for about 3 months.so in december, we planned a trip, he came down here and spent a week with me in my home town.that week was just so unbelievably perfect.we meshed so well, and we had so much fun and he just said all these things that seemed so sincere too(im now re-thinking this), but once he left, we have stopped communicating. originally he said that he didnt want a relationship with me strictly bc of the distance. hes been in a lot of long distance relationships before, and he doesnt want to go down that road again.he has told me he has a hard time opening up to people, and he told me finally that he just wanted to be penpals, however, i know that he cannot deny the connection that we made. especially considering that he is the one that persued me.and were both pretty poor, so he used his savings on the trip here, and not on what he was saving up for.i guess he is just a commitment-phob.im the type that wears my heart on my sleeve, so i just tell him how i feel, what i want etc... i think that scares him.i cannot stop thinking about him, and the more that we dont talk, the more i want him. i am not used to not getting what or who i want.so this is really bugging me. i guess what i want to know is if there is any hope whatsoever of us getting together again, or if i should just drop this hope and move on.if there is hope, then how would i go about getting him back? im just sick of thinking about him. and this is tearing me up inside.i really feel in my heart that there is hope, but my brain is telling me that i should move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni dont see how it is a contradiction. however, you are 100%correct in the fact that it is a big character flaw that i do have, and have become aware of recently. its more of me expressing what i want, and then automatically expecting to get it.i guess i just needed someone else's unbiased opinion of what to do, since im out of my mind. thankyou so much.and thanks for the book reference.:]
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