| A
female
age
30-35,
*sk and you shall receive..(well,ill try my best)
writes: I'v got yet another problem with my bf!He wants to start smoking! He used to smoke for 2/3yrs but in all d 11 months we've been together,he hasnt touched 1 cigarette! And im really proud of him! And he's happy that he quit. But lately he's been asking me if i mind if he takes a drag off someone's cig and now he wants to start smoking on d weekends! Till it will probably grow to a packet!or more!:(All our friends smoke-i understand he's being tempted all the time,so we try not to always stay with them so they don't tempt him but it doesn't seem to be working!I don't want to sound possesive but i don't want him to start smoking again!The smell of the smoke makes me sick and im allergic to it!and my bf knows this!If he ever had to start i'd never b able to kiss or hug him again cos i'd smell it on his clothes and in his breath,To the point that i probably won't even want to be around him anymore!:(He tells our friends the only reason he hasn't started smoking again is "because of me" and now i feel stupid and guilty that im stopping him from doing something he wants!Sorry to sound dramatic but: Should i just let him slowly kill himself with cigarettes just so that he's happy? Or should i stop him and keep things the way they are now?? I don't know what to do! :( Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, happyhippo  +, writes (13 March 2007):
I used to smoke 20 a day, then i read Allen Carrs Easyway to quit smoking, and the day i finished the book, i never touched a ciggarette again. i have never read a book in my life but i was intruiged as 3 people told me they had quit using this book.so i read it, and walla. hope this helps
A
female
reader, TygersDream  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 Well, coming from a smoker, you shouldn't feel guilty - it IS a nasty habit - not as bad as crack or getting drunk though.
Just try not to come off as sanctimonious and dramatic either when you tell him that you want him to quit smoking.ie. 'you're killing yourself slowly with cigarettes!' When I read that I was reminded of that lady in the Simpsons who keeps saying, "Won't somebody, PLEASE think of the CHILDren!!"
Just tell him that you'd rather he didn't because he tastes awful when you kiss him etc. Don't give him an excuse or let him have a drag. He probably knows all the consequences of smoking already, so bashing the facts out over his head is overkill.
The good thing is, he quit once, he can do it again. And even NOW it's only one drag off a cigarette. He's just fallen off the wagon, that's all.
Research ways that he can ditch the habit and ditch it forever and then follow through with that. he can chew gum, for instance whenever he has the craving for a cigarette. Find out WHY he likes smoking, is it because he's bored? exposed to smokers? likes having something in his mouth?
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/content/PED_10_13X_Guide_for_Quitting_Smoking.asp
Good luck, and don't feel guilty, it's not like you're telling him to stop going to school, right?
...............................
|
