A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey all I need some advice. I'm getting married to my girlfriend of 5 years (engaged for almost 2) in a few weeks but now I'm not sure this is what I want.Lately I've realised that there is no spark in our relationship, at least on my side, and that when we are together it just feels like I am going through motions. Like we went out to dinner a few weeks ago and it was a nice night but at the end of we just went home and fell asleep. And this is common for us. I've talked to her about it but and she says its because shes tired and stressed about the Wedding, but its been going on for well over a year before the Wedding was even being planned so I don't know what to believe.Whats worse is we own a house together and her parents are paying for the some of the wedding and as its so close its adding a lot of pressure onto me on what I should be doing.I guess I feel that this has been coming for a while and I don't know how to talk to her about it. I just don't know what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): Is this not pre wedding jitters? This might sound daft, but i have them right now. I'm getting married on 12th April, and i could scream, stuff still to organise and i'm just not sure now! Have a good long chat with your gf and point out exactly how you feel, it may not be so bad afterall. If things don't get settled in your head then why don't you put it back 6 months, that will give you time to breath and think. Keep in touch.
Take care
xx
A
female
reader, brilliant_Mad  +, writes (13 March 2007):
You need to ask yourself if you could picture yourself spending the rest of your life with her, living happily. Also if you could picture yourself marring anyone else. It could just be wedding nervs or you may not love her anymore,
hope this helps goodluck,
Madeleine
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A
male
reader, foreerzero86  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 I have to be honest man, sometimes you are going to lose spark.. its not always going to be there... the real question is do you love her? If the answer is yes, marry her without another doubt. Love is more then "being in love' and a spark.
God bless
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): I think it is better to cancel a wedding, than get divorced afterwards. But at the same time, you must be just worried before the wedding about what is going to happen. If you want spark in your relationship than make it happen... Every relationship seems like it has a spark in the beginning and then after a while it feels like it is going away. I think that you are just afraid, because you think that this is the end.....but it is not, trust me. It always seems like grass is greener on the other side, but in reality you should appreciate what you have. This woman is your friend and someone that you will spend the rest of your life with (good times and bad, boring times and will have fun with). Therefore, don't think that you will find this spark in the other relationship for more than five years. You have sparks in the beginning because you are excited about the knew and unknown relationship, and after a while you love someone for who they are. So there might not be any sparks anymore, but at least it is real.
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