A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I have been broken up for a couple of months now and we decided to stay friends. We both agreed to this because there was a loss of attraction on both sides. However, even though we agreed to stay friends we both gave each other space that was needed after the breakup. However just these past few weeks I've found out that she has pretty much cut off all forms of contact with me with all of the social networking programs that we used together to communicate and probably keep in touch in the future. So now it looks almost unlikely that we'll ever be keeping in touch. My question is should I just leave her be or actually ask her what's going on? I just don't understand why would someone want to be friends and then a few months later cut off all contact with you in hopes of never hearing or seeing you ever again. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): Sorry to hear that. If she started dating someone a week after you two broke up, she probably had him lined up already. The "let's be friends" gesture towards you was almost certainly just a way of softening the blow. I'm sure she meant well, but actions speak louder than words.
Seems conclusive that she wants to move on now. There's no need to ask her why she's cut off contact: your 2nd post tells you everything you need to know.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@dornraben
She's deleted me as a contact the last time we spoke was like 3 weeks ago. And we gave each other some space after the breakup. Like no contact for at least a month. And she already started dating like a week after ending things with me. As far as I know they are still together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): If she has cut off all ways of contact, it does suggest that she is no longer interested in remaining friends, and is moving on. It must be upsetting and confusing for you, and it must also have been quite a shock. Sometimes people's feelings can change, and it can seem sudden. But it sounds like the two of you have been drifting apart for a while, and so it probably isn't that sudden, even though it may seem like it.
Maybe she offered to remain friends because she wasn't sure of what would happen. When two people give each other space, I think they either miss each other and grow closer, or one or both of them will drift away and lose interest. That may have happened here.
If you are really curious for answers though, then I guess it can't hurt to contact her and ask, if it is possible for you to do so. But you will need to be prepared to let go and move on, just incase she says she is no longer interested. If she isn't interested anymore, there is little else you can do. And if she doesn't reply back to you...I think you will also have your answer by her silence. This must be difficult for you, and I'm sorry that this has happened. But sometimes things come to an end. Be prepared to move on.
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female
reader, Mjfbla +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Ask her. It cant do any harm. Either she will tell you or ignore you. If she ignores you then, you have an answer in a sense. But youll always be curious. Mite as well try to find out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): When you say "found out that she has pretty much cut off all forms of contact with me", do you mean she's deleted you as a contact, or is just not replying to your messages?
She may have genuinely wanted to stay friends, but over time her feelings have changed. Either she just wants to move on, or perhaps she's met someone new...
On the other hand, people sometimes SAY they want to be friends, but it's actually just to make the breakup feel easier (mainly to appease their own guilt). Very rarely does the "being just friends" routine work immediately after a breakup. There's too much emotion still involved.
I wouldn't advise chasing her to ask what's going on. Actions speak louder than words, and she is your ex after all, so it's not as if you have a 'right' to know. The best thing is probably to just move on and let it go.
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