A
male
age
30-35,
*DTrump07
writes:hey, i'm in a situation right now that i'm sure has happened to many people before, but i am completely lost and i'd just like some good, honest advice. i had a girlfriend a while back and at the time we broke up, we'd been dating for close to 3 years. and before that, we were friends (grew up in church together) for close to 10 years. so we were EXTREMELY close. but after we broke up, we both went off to separate colleges and lost touch. and now, a good while later, she has gotten herself a new boyfriend and i have just been enjoying my single life. my problem is that i just can't seem to stop thinking about her. i've seen her a few times around our hometown this summer and we've talked briefly. but even before then, i just couldn't get her out of my head. i'm always thinking about her or having dreams about her, even after being pretty much out of touch with her for this long. it's like i miss her so terribly, but i don't know why! so should i try talking to her and re-establishing contact so we can at least be friends again eventually? or should i just leave things as they lie?
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male
reader, GDTrump07 +, writes (23 August 2009):
GDTrump07 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot. it helps to get advice from someone who sees the situation objectively. that was great advice.
A
male
reader, Sphronas +, writes (23 August 2009):
 Clearly you have not gotten over this relationship and the subsequent breakup yet. The question is: do you really still love this woman, or do you love the person she used to be? My guess is that it's the latter -- you are both at an age where people change rapidly as they grow up and she will no longer be the person you remember. In that case, you should let go of the idea that the two of you will ever be a couple again and focus on the future. I guarantee you that you will find someone who you can love and respect and who can return these feelings. We all find that someone in the end if we approach the people around us with an open mind and without getting caught up in memories.
If, after a while, you find that you no longer think about her romantically, then (and only then!) go ahead and establish casual contact with your ex to find out whether you can become friends. But don't be disappointed if it turns out that what once connected to two of you is no longer there.
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