A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:please note: this is really long, and if you have time to read, then i thank you so much. i just don't know what to do anymore..i got into a yelling match with a couple of girls today. for a while now there has been a bit of tension between me and this one girl who claims she hates me. she told my friend the reason why, is because ever since i got back from australia, i have turned all of her friends against her because i dont like her.i didn't think anything of her when i came back, because it didn't seem she thought anything of me. i didn't hate her though, not at all. we just weren't as tight knit as me and her friends were (one of whom was my best friend). later i kept hearing my friends bitch about her and how much she has changed because of her boyfriend. they'd been having these feelings toward her long before i came, and then one day my best friend wrote her a letter. saying that she didnt want anything to do with her. this is when this girl started hating me.she has it in her head that i went and turned these girls against her. i can understand why she would feel this way, because it all happened just as i got back. my 'best friend' kept bitching about her, but unbeknown to me she was still her friend. i just found out recently. then i told her that we arent going to be as close as we were now that she is friends with this girl who hates me, because at the time it didn't make any sense. i was really hurt over it.then today the girl who hates me and her friend came up to me and started yelling at me. the girl who hates me accused me of hating her ever since i got here (which is not true! i didn't even think twice about her, to me she was just a person! no-one i really took interest in, or knew!) and she kept saying i was bullshit, and then she said she didn't have to give me a reason to hate me. they were saying that i was making my 'best friend' choose between them or me. which wasnt how i meant for it to be.i was just letting her know how it was now. i just let her know how i felt; that we arent as close as we were now that she is close with this girl who hates me. it still doesnt make sense to me as to why i should be close with someone who is close with someone else who hates me who she('bestfriend') used to hate! girls make absolutely no sense! (yes, im a girl too, but still, i cant wrap my head around itnow this has caused problems between me and my 'best friend'. we havent talked since this afternoon. we're definately not best friends anymore. but i know she has left our group to go with this girl who hates me. and i feel bad. i feel like this is all my fault. because my other friend was saying that she hopes she doesnt leave. i didn't want her to leave. but i'm okay with it. because maybe things will get better.but im just afraid these girls are going to hit me or something. ive never been in a fight before. and they really hate me. i have the first two lessons with them tomorrow. my brother has told me to ignore them. but i have no friends in one class i have with them. i was wondering if i should move on and just ignore them (as hard as i think it will be), or keep trying... im going with the ignoring and moving on. but i don't know what steps i should take in order to do that... please help me :(sharnia.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you to the both of you! both answers were really great!
from now on i am just going to ignore them. like you've said there is no point in wasting my time over them. i dont think i will see this girl either, i think it would be best if i just let it go, and move on. it is about time this book got closed, and i just move on from it. ive had a bit of time to think about it. and a friend of mine has been giving me some help. so just in those classes i will keep my head up. and if it does come close to it, and they do start bullying me and it gets out of hand, then i will definately go to a teacher. and perhaps start seeing a councillor.
but thank you both so much, it means a lot to me that you could take your time to answer my question! thank yoou jmc930 and Honeypie. :) both a real help, and youre point of views were great.
thankyou,
sharnia.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): There are probably so many other girls at your school with whom you could befriend. These girls, who are catty and seeking drama, are not worth your time at this point. Your brother is right; ignore them. Once they see that their immature actions aren't getting to you, they'll stop.
I don't agree with Honeypie about going to see this girl who hates you. That's just giving her the attention she wants from you, and she isn't worth your time.
If their actions are really bothering you, maybe you could talk to a teacher you trust or the school counselor about it. Someone like that would have the power to put an end to any bullying you might be enduring because of these girls. Having someone to mediate a conversation between you, too, if you really just want to figure out what's going on rather than hoping the problem will go away, might be beneficial, too.
Girls are catty. Girls are mean to each other. It's a very unfortunate fact of life. Best of luck in this situation.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 Why not go see the girl who "hates you" face to face with no friends around and ask her what her problem is?
This whole passive aggressive girl clique thing is just ridiculous.
If you know where she lives I would go see her and talk to her. You two don't have to be friends but I would tell her to quit it. That the only problem you have with her, is her yelling at you.
Other then that, I think your brother is right. IGNORE THEM. If they scream/yell at you and you DON'T react.. who is going to look dumb? THEM..
They are the kind of people that are a waste of time worrying about.
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