A
female
age
51-59,
*rish4986
writes:I think my boyfriend has other women. He has slipped a few times. Sending texts that had nothing to do with our conversation. Not texting at all for 2 days. Recently, he sent a pic of his daughter. I responded by saying "How about a pic of you too?" He replied, "Fine, Thanks". What do you think?
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female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (19 November 2016):
I am so sorry you and your bf had a fight when you voice your concerns on the women he might be seeing while dating you also. If he lives four to five hours and he won't come to see you but wants you to he there for him and love him still. That kind of tells me what kind of man he is. A selfish man who doesn't have any reguard for you or your feelings. I think getting out of the relationship will be best if he isn't into you as much as you're into him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2016): Well, some people aren't cutout for long-distance relationships; even if only 4-5 hours away. Maybe you're right when you said you may be more into him than he is into you. You've got your red-flag, so do what's best for you. Plus you have suspicions and don't trust him.
If a guy makes no effort to see or be with you, you don't fight about it. You dump him. I think he was just waiting for that to happen. He just wanted you to be the one to initiate the breakup. Most guys try to avoid breakup drama; so they just freeze you out until you let go. It's the coward's way out. He'll act upset, so you'll blame yourself.
Once you let go, don't look back. He'll string you along and make a total fool of you if you let him. You were clinging on when you saw he wasn't making much effort. Don't do that to yourself. That's beneath your dignity.
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A
female
reader, trish4986 +, writes (18 November 2016):
trish4986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think I am going to step back for awhile. Bad fight yesterday. He really became upset when I voiced my feelings. Big red flag. And though we only live 4-5 hours away from each other, he can't take take the time to see me. Or doesn't want to. Doesn't ask for pictures. But he expects me to be right here, ready to support and love him when he needs it. Maybe he is not that into me. Only one way to find out... Thank you all for your help.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (18 November 2016):
I will definitely dropped him as a bf. If he is texting other women while he is dating you. You should date someone who is devoted to you and not text other women unless he is friends with them. Is he friends with them? So he did the same thing to his ex when he cheated on her that is so low that he will cheat on you and his ex. How far away do u both live from each other?
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2016):
 But what? Tell us why you feel suspicious, what is hard for him? The relationship? Your mistrust? We need more details. If he cheated on an ex then yes I can see why you worry about trust, also long distance does not make it easier, it just makes things a whole lot worse.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): It seems to me that this is more of a friends with benefits situation because he is quite happy knowing you are there waiting for him but he isnt really prepared to be any more than he already is.
I would find it hard to think of it as anything else so you might as well enjoy as much independant social time as you can because you have at least 29 days or nights of the month free!
That gives him enough time to be a happily married man with someone else.
And bring up children elsewhere also.
Have you looked at the website "he's just not that into you!"
It all gets explained there.
Maybe if you broke it off officially you would be open to meeting someone new.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): Sweetheart, give us more details. You said he cheated on his ex? He hasn't responded to you in days, and this is a long-distance relationship? Now things are making a little more sense. Please explain more.
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A
female
reader, trish4986 +, writes (16 November 2016):
trish4986 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your responses. I did ask him what is going on. He said it was hard. That he loved me. And that it wasn't what I thought. That was Monday. Haven't heard from him since. He has done this before. We have been together in a long distance relationship for a year. I only get to see him maybe once a month. He has cheated on his ex. If this were the only thing, then I would agree. But
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (16 November 2016):
Have you talk to him and ask him if he has other women beside you? Is his daughter from a previous relationship with a different woman he dated before you? He might tell you what is going on if you tell him your worries about what you wrote to us on here. I often talk to friends with my male friends I let my bf know about it when I email him so he wouldn't worry about anything at all. But you got to talk to him also see what is going on
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): It's not like he replied "Wow last night was incredible. Can't wait to see you". That would (quite rightly) create suspicion! I genuinely think he gets confused in replying to multiple people. Perhaps this makes you feel less special. Lumped in with the crowd. Just bring it up in a jokey way with him. "I do giggle at your random texts".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2016): I don't think you trust your boyfriend, and you might be the suspicious type. Has he ever cheated on you before? Did you steal him from another woman?
I often carry on texting with more than one person; because family and friends tend to inundate me with messages after work. That includes my boyfriend, if he doesn't meet me when I first get home. I mistakenly mix the messages; because everyone wants an immediate response, texts me while I'm messaging someone else; or they will all blow-up my phone.
Get more evidence, then draw conclusions based on solid facts not suspicion.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 November 2016):
Could he not be texting friends? Family? Why does it need to be he is seeing another woman? If this is all you have to go by then am guessing you have trust issues?
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