A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey. I’m 18 and never fancied anyone in my life. My view on love has always been quite clear. I’ve always believed that the only person I will ever like will be person I’ll be with forever and that I’ll know from the moment I meet them. It’s a family tradition.For years, I’ve ‘sussed out’ my future. I’ve made up this dream man that I believed would be the one for me. I’ve worked out silly little details and believed I would meet him in uni, where I’m going in September.But recently I’ve realized that I’ve fallen for someone else. He’s always sort of been there but he seems to have crept up on me over the last 2 years. My feelings for him have grown since about a year and a half now and we’ve grown much closer recently. It’s become obvious that we like each other and people seem to be shocked as to how close we are. A few people including my mum is now trying to set us up and lots of people have predicted we’ll get together. I really, really like him and it’s not for any specific reason. It’s just for who he is. The problem is that I don’t know what to think anymore. He has similar aspects to the guy in my head but is still very different. I’m scared to give in to my feelings if something were to happen between us. What should I do? Am I being stupid having dreamt up those things or do they actually mean anything? Should I just go for what’s in front of me, if the opportunity arises, despite the fact that I’m going to uni soon and he isn’t? I just want feedback! Please? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (22 July 2010):
You're not being stupid when you come up with a blueprint in your head for the guy you want. But you will never meet someone who is perfect and answers that description. I blame Disney for this :). Women (and men, in fairness) see films, they hear stories, they even look at other couples and they say "That's the perfect partner, and I want that". What you're not realizing is there is no guy who is perfect. There isn't a guy who can answer all those little details. all that comes with working on a relationship. All that comes with communication, with learning about each other. It comes with being together, spending time together and such. It is not like the films, where the perfect man comes ready made. There is no perfect guy. You're not being silly, but your expectations are so high and perhaps even a little too closed minded that you'll not find what you're looking for, while good guys who will try hard to make you happy and love you will pass on by to other women.
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