A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have this really pretty mate but she is already taken but she confides in me and i know that her relationship is on the rocks. I have had a crush on her since day 1 but never told her but now i feel that i should make my move but my mates tell me to stay away from her because they don't trust her ( and apprently shes a bitch ). I have fond feelings for her but i have asked her out in the past for alone time but she lies and makes up excuses to not be alone with me. All her excuses are fake because i know shes not busy and she can come out......... what should i do? Should i just leave her because she lies to me with such ease and doesnt care about me? It seems that she doesnt like me but in public she acts like we're BFFs even when i'm pissed at her. What to do with this (apprent bitch) that keeps on giving mized signals :S
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crush, her ex, she lies Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankz for the adivce but should i screw at her for being hypocrtical or should i just leave this situation becoz now she just acts as if the situation never happened . but it bugs me to see her evasivness of the situation.... should i tell her how i feel or just leave her altoghter?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): From what you wrote I think it is a case of she likes but does not love you. Woman can be a tease and flirt a lot but that dosent mean they want to take the relationship to the next level. She is probably trying to protect your feelings. Afterall if she told you the truth that she dosent love you it would make both of you feel bad. You could write her a note expressing how you feel about her and then ask her how she feels. This will bring closure and enable you to move one. Everyone finds love eventually so dont let the experience put you off
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Id be inclined to forget about her too at least as a potential partner. She could have lied to save your feelings (stupid way of doing it i know) because she obviously doesnt feel attracted to you in that way. If that is the case and it clearly is she should have said so; you would have felt bad for a bit but everything would have been fine in the end and you would have moved on and still had a solid friendship. Her actions however leave another possible, less pleasent explanation; that she is using you as an emotional crutch and has lied because she doesnt want to lose that.
Her behaviour is now alienating you even as a friend and this whole situation is in crisis point. I'd forget about asking her out again only to be messed about however if you want to save the friendship then you need to sit down and have a clear-the-air chat. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (16 August 2008):
Id be inclined to forget about her too at least as a potential partner. She could have lied to save your feelings (stupid way of doing it i know) because she obviously doesnt feel attracted to you in that way. If that is the case and it clearly is she should have said so; you would have felt bad for a bit but everything would have been fine in the end and you would have moved on and still had a solid friendship. Her actions however leave another possible, less pleasent explanation; that she is using you as an emotional crutch and has lied because she doesnt want to lose that.
Her behaviour is now alienating you even as a friend and this whole situation is in crisis point. I'd forget about asking her out again only to be messed about however if you want to save the friendship then you need to sit down and have a clear-the-air chat. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (16 August 2008):
 I would be inclined to to take the advice of your friends, they seem to have her summed up pretty good. At the end of the day your friends don't what to see you get hurt, which is what they think will happen if you make your move on this girl. This girl has lied to you and betrayed your trust, ther likellhood is that she is not going to change, so stay away and save yourself the heartache.
Take care x
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