A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I fell in love with this great man 2 years ago. He was so different from anyone I had ever met.I adored him from day one and could not keep my hands off him. Now things are different. I have started pulling back because I realized it was me always instigating sex. His behavior becomes more gay as we go along. My self-esteem is diving as I realize that I have absolute no effect on him sexually.when I hold him and caress him his body never responds. He dislikes passionate kissing and I feel like he only ever wants to hold me. He tells me he loves me and I am his best friend and he has lots of positives but my body aches for his all the time. He told me other women have dropped him because he is a dud in bed.I often wonder if he is in denial of who he is. Problem is we are in business together and live together. Do I just accept there is never going to be a sex life. Is it possible for me to kill my desire for him and have a great friendship? I know he was a big user of porn as I found it on his computer and wonder if this effects his non performance? He claims he does not do this anymore as I confronted him on this but perhaps he needed it for inspiration. I have tried looking sexy in nice lingerie but he finds it a turn off Can I have a sexless relationship? I am only 53 so still plenty of go in me. I have mentioned that he should move into spare room but he got angry. I said it was not fair that I lay awake feeling so frustrated and am being denied a sex life. Is it wrong to want it all! My girlfriend who is extremely attractive reckons he is gay and many other have inferred this as well.He tells me he hates women hitting on him and does not like me taking the lead in bed. So confused but trouble is I love him so much.
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (12 June 2011):
 what sort of porn was it? maybe he just doesn't find you attractive? or maybe he lacks confidence and so would rather refrain from sex coz he thinks he will only disappoint you. when he says previously women have dumped him coz he is a dud, what does this mean? was he unable/unwilling to give them sex or did he try but he was not very good and they have criticised him? you need to have a serious talk with him about WHY he is behaving like this. a relationship COULD work if you were asexual too, but as you are not and you feel you are missing out, this is not good and you will probably resent him the longer this continues
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