A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok first i wanna say that i am an escort. two weeks ago i had an outcall to meet with a guy. he was very charming not the best looking but great personality. he wanted me for 3hrs and paid me but we didnt even have sex, just cuddled, talked that sorta thing. well ive been seeing him since then and not working cause im really into him i havent wanted to be with anyone else even for "work". but the other day we got into a fight because he told me he checked my cell phone and read all my text messages. he got mad cause of all the guys that were sending messages even though he knows what i do for a living obviously since he called me. Is that normal ive never had a guy do that to me before and we're not technically in a relationship, we've been on dates and stuff. and when im at his house he all of a sudden wanted me to help him clean his place, walk his dog ect... and one time he asked me to throw out some glass but i said i didnt feel like it right now ill do it later. he got mad and said i was lazy. i am very attractive i have to be for me kind of work, he isnt that attractive so its not like i couldnt get someone else.. and he always wants to go to strip clubs to pick up chicks for threesomes.. but gets mad if i do outcalls? am i overreacting? Also i have a daughter and he never onced implied on wanting to meet her...wtf? he bought her somthing but thats as far as it went. he plays high stakes poker and bets on games for a living and makes good money but one day he lost a bunch of money and was mad and acting like he was completly broke talking about my job wasnt approprate for a relationship to work and i should work at fast food? what i make in one day wold take me a week in fast food.. its stupid.. also he hates what i wear and is always asking tme to change.. Is he trying to change me and who I am? i know this is alot and i wishi could say so much more but what do u think break it off and keep working what im doing or stay with him and see where it goes only problem with that is he dosnt want me working this job. he has taken me to a lot of fancy restaurants and about me a lot of shit one day and the next hes broke? asking for 50 bucks? im confused.. since i havent been working im running out of money so i dont know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): He has issue's, He doesnt like what you do for a living yet he called you looking for your services ??
He is a control freak and wants a housewife and skivvy to do all the things a regular wife does. He is unhappy with your independence and wants to tie you down, also looking through your phone is a disgrace i mean of course your going to have texts from guys its your job to make them feel wanted etc, its your lively hood and what your used to so dont give up escorting just because he wants you to work in some fast food place, he just wants you to earn less so that you will be more dependent on him which will make him feel better, and as for the strip clubs/ threesomes, double standards again this guy sounds like a slime ball your better off without him trying to take over your life and trying to change you,, tell him that he knew what you were before you both met so he can build a bridge and get over it or move on because you are who you are and no man will change you... good luck :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2011): It's not uncommon for men to form attachments to the women they've hired and forget that the relationship is a professional one. To a woman they hire on a regular basis I mean.
This is fairly common because the relationship is all about HIM; talking about HIS day, HIS accomplishments, HIS performance, HIS problems. The only thing he is expected to give you in return is money.
He has come to think of you as his girlfriend and he expects you to look and act the part. Arranging meetings with other men sticks in his craw. Unless you want a relationship with him, I suggest you give up whatever perks you get from him and cut ties as soon as possible.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (13 June 2011):
 this poor deluded man is in fantasy land. I think he wants to do his version of 'save' you.
He's trying to CONTROL you so get out fast. He's borrowing money which is a very bad sign telling me he is not handling his life well. And he's Sleazy - wanting threesomes. And although charming he's not very attractive anyway. He is Mr Loser from Loserville and potentially dangerous to you. Walk away for your own safety.
Trying to 'save' you from the work you do is not his call. And none of his business.
You have made your choice. He is offering you nothing better. His mundane suggestions are not much help either. You don't need saving. You have chosen your career. It is your choice. He has chosen his career.
His career is emotionally and financially risky. And he is not always successful at his career (gamblers never are). And he's lousy at budgeting his money. Potentially I also think he could be abusive.
Your career is just as risky physically and emotionally. For different reasons. So you need to protect your own personal safety, but I would imagine you are very street smart, so you don't need advice from me on that. I would think you are very able to assess your clients to minimise any risks to you.
Your career is potentially very lucrative financially, though as you reach 30-40 you may have had to alter your career path slightly, to keep the income high. Thus you need to save money on a regular basis, to put it aside for later, to set yourself up in either another career, or a more expensive version of what you already do now.
There are women in your line of work who work towards and who choose to have just one Super wealthy very generous client, who they see exclusively. This guy is not it. Or women who choose to see just one very generous client per day. They are more than just an escourt and tend to be very well read and well informed, can politely discuss anything, be taken anywhere, be very discreet, and be as well presented as a wealthy woman, kept in a manner they have become accustomed to and shop in the best places .
You have temporarily put your career on hold for him. I think that is a mistake. Certainly do not consider his suggestion to go work selling hamburgers. That will end up less lucrative than what you do now.
He is not interested in your child. And he is not offering you anything. He is a very pedestrian sort of guy.
I hope you have a good Mom who is willing to help you with your child. There will come a time when your child will discover what your work entails. This may cause some problems later. If you do ever want to try any other line of work then do get some studies under yiur belt first. Once again it means you should be putting some money aside regularly to help pay for those studies. I know some will say that even a fast food outlet trains people, and helps them grow into a management career. But that takes time. I am thinking more of studies that would
Equip you to move into particular lines of work immediately on a good starting salary from day one.
Whatever you do, stay safe, stay away from losers (like this guy) and work on your own self esteem so that you don't fall for any other guy like this guy.
You are not his wife, he is treating you like his hired housekeeper with benefits.
You do deserve better in your life.
Do not tell him you are leaving, especially as I think he could be abusive.
Just pack your bags as soon as he has gone off gambling. And do not accept his phone calls. Keep safe and good luck
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