A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes: I've been dating this guy for over a month.He msgs/we hang daily.Recently he started working ocassionally plus I dont have the gas money to drive over there all the time (he doesnt drive).Lately ive been gettin annoyed cos we'll talk via txt like always but now he doesnt always reply and he'll say the next day that he fell asleep, was sick etc.It seems he wants all the perks of a GF but w/out the label and wants me to spend the night all the time ( i never have) and hes bothered when I dont. We're already intimate so thats not the issue.When we're together its great but when we're apart I wonder if he actually does like me a great deal or if he hangs out w/ me cos hes bored or nothing better to do. He constantly tells me how much of a sweetheart, good girl I am - especially when hes been drinking and when intoxicated wants me to leave hickeys on him and "claim him" which I find funny and odd.I dont understand why he wants me to mark him up and why he feels the need for me to spend the night. he claims its cos he wants to know what it feels like to wake up next to me.Publically there's PDA. We enjoy each others company..My questions are..Am I worrying too much about putting a label on it, should I just enjoy his company and how things are going?Why does he act like hes my bf, dying for me to stay over, doesnt want me dating others but when asked what we are doing he says "i enjoy hanging w/ you and lets keep it like it is"I mean its not just sex. we go out, hang out w/ friends. watch movies and sex is just a small part of it.
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (9 April 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks. it definitely helps :). i guess ill just let it play out and enjoy it for what it is. i just start to wonder how he really feels cause he doesnt msg as much as he used to (seein it was everyday before) but i guess that really doesnt matter cause in person hes all about me and i should just focus on that, not the negative.
A
female
reader, lizzyyy +, writes (9 April 2010):
Why don't you confront him about this? If he wants you enough he'd be happy to put a label on your relationship. Tell him what you want and compromise with him. But if he seems to want all the girlfriend stuff, but not the label of girlfriend, could he be using you slightly? Especially when you said when he's drunk he asks you to 'claim him'. It sounds like he might just want to show off to his mates that he can get a girl to give him a hicky without being in a grounded relationship. Though he doesn't sound like such a bad guy if he also likes hanging out and chatting and going to the movies and stuff.
Maybe he is just a man who is scared of a commitment or maybe he is just wondering what you are thinking of this situation.
I think you should, for now just enjoy how things are going, but if this is really playing on your mind, just ask him, 'do you want me as your girlfriend officially or not? Because I am confused. I know what I want.'
I hope this helps a bit. :)
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