A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a man last Oct (2006) that I had been a work acquaintance of for 2 years. He was going through a divorce when we started dating. We took things slowly in the beginning and then after about 3 months he told me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He said he was scared of being hurt again. That was fine with me. We had a great relationship, never argued over anything major, had fun together, he introduced me to his whole family, I have a 7 yr old daughter and he has a 15 yr old son and we all became one great family. He built a new house and let me be very involved in the building process and called it our house. The day before our 1 yr anniv. this year he said he needed to take some time to make sure this is what he wants. A week passed by, we somehow hooked up again and dated until a week ago. When he said that he loves me but still needs his time. Time to make sure he doesnt screw up the marriage thing again. WEll I have had a hard time dealing with this and have contacted him 3 x in 10 days. We talk and our conversations end well. But he says he doesnt want me to wait b/c that isnt fair to me but that he does still love me but needs time for himself. I pissed him off by telling him that I was going to start dating other ppl to see how he would respond. He said I wished you good luck b/c I have too much pride to ask you to not date other ppl. Okay, my question is have I ruined this at this point? Should I just walk away completely? Do you think he is just looking for a way out. BTW he has always been very straight forward and honest about everything. So i cant imagine that he is lying to me about anything.
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female
reader, EDL +, writes (29 November 2007):
Firstly I can feel your pain but understand this is not about you. You have not done anything wrong at all but love your man.
You said that you started dating when he was going through a divorce which means he didnot give himself time to heal from the previous break-up.
He dealing with his fears around commitment again because he been there already. I not judging him but if you feel that this is the man for you, give him the time and space to deal with what feelings and emotions are coming up for him.
I here your angry and it's okay to be angry but you need him to work through his personal baggage if you want this man to become your husband. Take care of yourself.
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