A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello agony aunts. I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years 3 days ago.My best friend was leaving the place we shared and i was pretty upset.i cried the whole day.when my bf got to know this he went bonkers. He told me i didn't cry for him when he left the place. thats not true.sure i didnt cry in front of him.mainly because i knew he was going to be only 3 hours away from me and we could always meet.but thats not the case with my best friend.she moved to a far place.i dont know when i'll see her next.I love my guy a lot and he means so much to me.when i tried to explain he told that my words didn't count anymore.he hasn't spoken to me since then. He does this everytime we fight.he stops talking to me for 2-3 months.my exams are coming up n this is the time i need his support the most.im fed up of him acting like this.i feel like he is taking me for granted.we never talk about issues because it always ends up in a fight.he always makes me feel like im the worst gf ever.i have done a lot for him.ive taken care of him.i have never cheated on him.why does he treat me like this?what should i do? Should i just move on and wait for someone who will appreciate me and love me? Or should i just apologize to him,listen to all the bad thing about me( he sometime tells 'dont think you are so good' n stuff like that) and get back with him?He is a very good person and has treated me well.i know he loves me but when we fight he tells things that hurt me alot. This has been going on for the last 4 years.Please help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2013): Thank u all for ur answers. They were very helpful. Im NEVER gonna go back to him. He has given me enough mental torture. I cant put up with him anymore. I feel pity for myself now. He will eventually understand what a good gf i had been to him all these years n it might be too late.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 May 2013):
 he stops talking to you for 2-3 MONTHS?
seriously? MONTHS? not hours, not days not weeks MONTHS?
and he's whining about you being upset about losing a good friend to a very long distance.
since he's not speaking to you now, use this time to change your email, unfriend him on facebook (and block him) and change your phone number.
he's not a good boyfriend or a mature person
if you can't talk about issues due to fights, then there is no relationship.
if he makes you feel like the worst gf ever, why are you with him?
when he's ready to talk and he can't find you he'll get the message.
he'll eventually track you down and you can say "well you weren't talking to me and these changes were made and you were out of the loop and now your gone"
i would not apologize
i would not listen to a laundry list of your faults...
I would not accept his manipulative whining controlling behavior.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): You stated that your boyfriend is a very good person and has treated me well. Um, no, hon, he is not a good person when he tells you that you are not good enough, won't listen to you without putting you down and then gives you the silent treatment several months at a time.
I realize you have been with him for a very long time and have a lot of emotional investment in him, but it's time to move on from this relationship.
He sounds somewhat abusive and I wouldn't put up with that from any man. He also sounds immature by not speaking to you. That is what children will do, go silent and sulk around.
There is someone out there that will treat you with the respect that you deserve and cherish you for the person that you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): Sorry, but he does NOT sound like a good person. Not talking to you for 2-3 MONTHS? He sounds mean and manipulative, not to mention insecure too. Yes, I'd break up with him, spend some time thinking about yourself and your needs, and maybe later finding a relationship again.
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