A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI m in a tricky situation. my ex and I broke up last November after about 3 years . The relationship wasn't perfect but good. She had trust issues and at times she used to be really angry over the smallest things. We had loads of fights. She was very jealous and possessive! She used to always break up with me and we settled things out in a day or two and things went back to normal. However, we broke up officially in November. She broke up this time, and I thought I had enough and thus didn't try to make up. She tried and I let go. Her argument was that I was ignoring her and I wasn't caring enough! The reason was I shifted to another country for university.I was settling in and I couldn't give her same time (4-5 hours a day) . Further, before moving to another country, she was getting close to a guy. I told her plain and simple that this guy was only trying to get her into bed and although that guy had a girlfriend but he lied about it. She didn't care and won't stop talking to him. Thus I also went a bit aloof and travelled away. We broke up and she found the real face of that guy within a month. She started realising that she made a mistake and left him. After that she and I talked a bit but not much. Yesterday we talked and she asked me to be with her. she told me I mean the world to her and she wants me even if it's long distance. I helped her a lot as she says when she really needed it so thus she feels I am a guy she can never forget and loves me alot.I haven't any problems with relationship yet, I won't finish my course for 4.5 years. This means that I might not see her for next 4.5 years and I think its unfair. As due to me, I feel I be holding her on to me when she can be with someone else at the same time in person. I just feel guilty at this thought as I want her to settle down and be happy. With me miles away , I think it won't work too well. However, we both turn each other on in seconds and amazing sex chemistry. With one forceful deep kiss, we can just turn fights into love making....Should I be back with her. I need your advice!
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broke up, jealous, long distance, my ex, university Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your responses!You both are right and I felt the same way since November that we can never be same again! 'I love you' missing is well pointed out and It came as surprise that I didn't mention it when she was once someone I worshipped.I will help clear out the mystery! It could be to the fact that I gave her everything I could possibly. I went against myself to keep her happy. I was also very patient and never raised my voice or every were mean to her. I always were very careful about my words never to hurt her. All her friends told her she was very lucky and many a times her sister told me, she doesn't deserve me at all for the way she treats me. She always gave me tears and anguish. Everyday was a battlefield and I was responsible for everything. from girls looking at me. (they must know I m in relationship n I must wear shabby clothes not to draw girls ' attention n list goes on) to politics!Basically I was being bossed around and I ignored to the fact that she will learn slowly n gradually! I was wrong and I always pretended everything was fine! She damaged me enough that I can't feel the same way about love anymore! With this history and still being polite and gentle to her, I came to realise she isn't what I think of my life to be...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (24 May 2013):
 I would not have a committed relationship with a history of turbulence and potential cheating and a physical break of 4.5 years.
if the only thing that is passionate is fighting and sex, then what's the point of being in a relationship where you can't have sex?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2013): 1. She had trust issues and at times she used to be really angry over the smallest things.2.We had loads of fights. She was very jealous and possessive!3. She used to always break up with me and we settled things out in a day or two and things went back to normal.4. She didn't care and won't stop talking to him.5.I thought I had enough and thus didn't try to make up.6. I might not see her for next 4.5 years These are 6 reasons why your relationship won't work long distance. Trust me, as someone who's been in a LDR for almost 2 years, you guys won't make it. Trust, communication and commitment are all absolute essentials and you're missing all 3.Interesting as well that you never once mentioned that you love her. Instead, you want to see her happy - with someone else and you feel like you're holding her back. She sounds like a habit you are trying to quit so explain to her that it won't work and that you both need space to start building you new lives apart.
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