A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been w/my current boyfriend for almost 7 years.I lived w/him for most of it until last year. I moved out when he said he needed more space. He wanted to also date other women. This went on a couple months with us still seeing each other 3 times week while dating other people.(which btw was very hurtful) We eventually went back to seeing each other only. So now we see each other 4 to 5 times a week. I go to his house or he comes to my apartment. I have tried to move on before, tired of the off and on. We are each others best friend and the sex is still wonderful. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I'm 43, he's 46. I was divorced young and raised my two boys alone. I want to experience a committed relationship. I want to grow old with someone(him being my first choice) and I am sad/depressed over the situation. I love him very much and have given much to this relationship.It's very hard to say goodbye when the attraction and enjoyment of each others company is still strong. But I am just tired of the back and forth. We have discussed marriage in the past and was close, but he changed his mind. Every time I do start to move on he comes on strong and it starts all over again.My question is should I just accept the situation because we do have alot of positives Or do I move on completely?:[Thanks in advance:}
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best friend, divorce, move on, moved out Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): The key words in your seven year relationship are " I have been with him for seven Years". Has there ever been any commitment on his part over those seven years? I doubt that there really ever was the deep,soul comitment on his part, that makes for a lasting relationship,and perhaps you just didn't want to see that,and you shared bodies for seven years,but for him there never was any commitment,and as I seeit there never will be.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): I am staggered by Laura's comment below.
She is advising that you basically settle for less than you deserve and from the sounds of your message, than you desire.
I would try to move on if you want more, which it sounds as though you do. It is much better to happy alone than unhally with a partner, and it's so so wrong to stay in an unhappy/unsatistactory situation just because you're afraid of being alone.
Once you are out of this relationship you will be free to meet someone else who can give you all the things you are missing out on, and also some time on your own in between is no bad thing. Being a cosmpolitan independent woman of today is a fantastic thing to experience, especially after years of being dragged down by an unhappy relationship.
As in all things follow your heart, and be true to yourself. If you decide to stay withthis man then do so because you really want to and not because you're simply afraid to leave. If you decided to leave then there is nothing to be afraid of, your life is your oyster and it's up to youto make the most of it!
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 January 2008):
 Half a man is better than no man. There are millions of women who are still single and cannot find a man.We should be contented with what we have.Contentment is the key to our happiness.When we are not contented , we will not be happy because we want something which is not available .We should appreciate and value what we have .
We may not be satisfied with our present arrangement but we can change things for the better . Before we want to change others , we need to look inwardly at ourself in the mirror.If we change for the better, then others will also change. If we expect others to change and we don't change, it will not work. We create our own happiness. We cannot depend on others for our happiness.
Half a loaf is better than none unless you prefer to live alone.Or you may wait until someone comes along. In the meantime , just be content with what you have been given in life.
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