A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi thereI was looking for a movie on my husband's laptop and instead found a folder of celebrity nudes he downloaded at the same time.I'm a bit shaken. I don't mind if he watches porn, but most of these photos are ones which would have been leaked without the women's permission and that seems wrong to me. I also don't like to see the evidence that he's looking at that kind of stuff (ignorance is bliss) since even though I'm physically fit, I don't measure up to a celeb so I don't like to know who in particular he likes the look of.Not sure if I say something to him about this or not. I'm tempted to just ignore it. What do you think?
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female
reader, litf +, writes (9 June 2018):
I think I'd be concerned if he is failing to give you attention while looking at nude pictures or porn or if the porn takes an ugly turn into abusive or highly illegal porn. I don't think it is unusual for many men just to use it for personal use. I can see both sides on this one. If it really bugs you might set some personal boundaries with it
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2018): did he know you were searching his computer? personally i enjoy/use pictures and videos for stimulation. i do not like voyeuristic/paprazzi pics though. i don't enjoy anything in which the featured woman seems unaware or unwillimg to participate.also, whilr the women featured are usually highly visually idealized, it neccesary since images lack the scent, softness, excitement,and warmth of a real woman's body.it's not an ideal substitute.
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A
female
reader, Rhodendron  +, writes (29 April 2018):
I would be very upset. However, you have told him you are okay with porn. This isn't much different from porn, and many of these photos are likely photoshopped other nude bodies onto the celebs face, that is how it is done. By the way, many women in porn do not consent either and are actually sex slaves being exploited.I do not believe in porn for many reasons including the reasons you bring up in your question. IT makes female partner's of porn users feel so bad about their bodies and so inadequate. I would have a frank discussion that you have thought more about the porn and realize you do not agree with it on moral grounds. Then explain that you found a stash of nudes which really seems like the addiction is running deep. Tell him he needs to delete the photos and ask him if he is willing to give up porn.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (29 April 2018):
 I would NOT let this one go.
These are (as you said) photos that the celeb in question DID NOT consent for others to see. That is NOT OK.
So yes, I would tell him straight up what you feel about him having those pictures.
Why? Because it comes down to respect. HE knows FULL well that those pictures were plastered all over the Internet without consent of the celeb.
But I would NOT have a go about comparing YOU to them. IF he wanted someone looking like (XYZ celeb) that is what he would have tried for.
this isn't about you. This is a "taboo" issue "I have have some secret pictures of these famous people in their most vulnerable moments, how cool is that?!"
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2018): Romance novels don't harm or degrade actual people who live and exist like the porn industry does !
Most women do NOT read romance novels like most men DO use porn and romance novels do not make men feel crappy about their bodies
It's time men stopped using novels as a lame comparison to an industry that routinely spits on swears at and degrades women
A book is a book and I've never met a woman who cares less of her man reads porn . What women care about is the way women are treated in porn and portrayed and also the way we are made to feel our only worth is our physical bodies
It's time men started respecting women and stopped making excuses
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A
male
reader, TylerSage +, writes (29 April 2018):
 Porn is a fantasy. Many men watch it. It's similar to romance novels women tend to read, but men prefer seeing things while women like to...feel and emerge in things.
Don't make this about you or your appearance. Think of it as more of a weird hobby.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2018): Why should women always be the ones to ignore their feelings whilst men are encouraged to follow theirs ? It's like men's penises are put on the highest pedestal whilst women are expected just to deal with whatever degradation is handed out to them
Of course you should ask him about this op . Perhaps ask him what women he admires and see what respect he truly has for women . It would be very interesting to see if he can actually make any women he respects for anything or admires for anything other than the way their
Bodies look . That will tell you everything you need to know about how he sees women and how he feels about you
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (29 April 2018):
 I would let that one go. Gawking at them will in no way destroy your relationship. Bringing it up, on the other hand, may cause turmoil, and it will be over something that has no impact otherwise. Battling the morality of this issue is like trying to put the toothpaste back into the tube.
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