A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my girlfriend broke up recently because we are only 20, our priorites didnt match right now. and we obviously still have great chemistry (we spent three years builfding it before we dated). problem is she met someone new and while they are not dating, she likes him and gets along with him really well. I couldnt take it because i love her, so i decided that we shouldt be friends. She cried alot and told me she needs me in her life because wehave meant so much to eachother for 4 years. We also have a history of finding our wayback to eachother, and we both agreed that this was still very possible. I want to learn to be without her though because i fear her feelings for him will soon overmatch what she feels f0r me. I know that whenever i decide to talk to her ever again i will still love her and am scared that she will be lonh gone. So am i right for wanting never to hear from her again to protect myself? Or should i leave the door open for friendship and or reconciliation?
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female
reader, sha9991  +, writes (21 February 2011):
Only you can answer that qustion really,can you wait around for her to change her mind? I would stay in contact as just friends,if you would rather have that than nothing,but I wouldn't jump everytime she texted or calls, you don't want her to know you are waiting on only her,get yourself out with mates and meet new people,keep your options open! Time will tell,but don't stop living cuz of her,if she sees you are o.k without her,that's attractive to women! Life is short and there'e plenty of women out there! :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are helping alottttt :) But she doesn't want to be with me right now. So is this my que to move on or do I stay close by?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): In my opinion, I think that you're most probably doing the right thing if you say you want to learn to live life witthout her.
You guys have had an amazing relationship for four years and I understand when you say you still love her after the breakup, especially since you've had great chemistry together and the breakup only due to priorties. If i were to look at your situation ONLY, I would say maintaining a mutual friendship with her is still possible. I may even say you guys can wait to reconcile again when your priorties are right.
However, you mentioned that she has a new interest whom she likes now. Although they may not be dating currently, but remember that she is of single status now and she can start another relationship anytime. If you were to wait for her hoping for reconcilation, you may end up hurting yourself if she really chooses to be with this guy in the end.
Have a serious talk with her first, before you make any decsion. If she says she needs you in her life, as a friend or a long-time partner? Does she like her new interest as a friend only, or is he someone she is considering to start a relationship with? Is she willing to wait till you both get your priorties right before you reconcile? Once you get her answers to these questions, I believe you will know already what decision to make. (: Take care and hope all goes well for you.
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A
female
reader, sha9991 +, writes (19 February 2011):
Hi,I guess you are her first love and vice versa? If that's the case you never forget your first love, but you can't just be friends because you know one other inside and out. You have to keep going forward not backwards. Unless there are kids involed, you have no obligation to try and be friends with your ex! You need to ask yourself, are you just jealous because she has met someone new? If you really love her and think you can get back together and see if you can sort-out your priorites, then fight for her and get the relationship back on track. If she just wants to be friends, you will have to walk-away because it will hurt you even more over time. As the saying goes, if you love someone, set them free! You cannot just be friends because you love her! It will kill you seeing her with another guy. I hope I have helped. :)
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