A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi i was in a relationship and i would like to know other peoples opionion. i was with an additict to gambelling and drink. we hav had problems with him and so has most his family, i tried to understand his problems and tried to be supportive, we both made mistakes and i tried to save the relationship every time he stole from me, it hurt but i tried not to take it personally, i knew he loved me, and found it hard to break it off, we had months and months apart after his last theft fro mme, he came back eight months ago and was still drinking but never hurt me by his addition, he has alot of issues and punishes himself by self harming too when guilt gets the bee=tter of him. three weeks ago i leant him £20 for some ink and he spent it on drink, my mistake, i asked for money back before he spent it, as i said i would not support the habit as its me who gets hurt, and i cant afford to lend it. we fell out two weeks later he was back and off the drink, for three weeks, then while i was out at a meeting he came back to the house, where his belonging were, and BORROWED £70 out of my cupboard i was saving, he never asked, i just happened to text him, and ask him what he was doing that day, and he told me he had lost his own £60, so came back and BORROWED mine as he told me i never needed it. i was so cross, and i know he did not loose his money he gambelled it. i asked him to return my money as i said i needed it for shopping, we had a row and he told me i was making an arguemment and turning it into some bigger than it was. but he knows i will not lend money for drink, he said we are supposed to be in relationship and i being unfair.i asked him to return whats left and get out my house, he came back packed his stuff and went with the money.we had a argument on phone and he was very defensive and said i did not need the money whats the problem, i will get it back next week.his dad has returned the money out of his own pocket, my partner said he left me and once i get my money we wont need to speak to each other.usually when this happenes between us, he knows he has done wrong, but i feel this was my fault for some reason and i should of given him my money. im a bit stuck at the moment about should i of saved my relationship or stood by views and what was rightfully mine.thanks for your help x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Just simply me  +, writes (14 March 2011):
I feel that u did the right thing! If he really loves u he should have asked u for the money! Not taken it! No loved one should Ever steal from someone they truly love!
And furthermore.., I feel that if he is the one who is the ultimate gambler and drinker he should be the one who ultimately should be supporting his own habit's ! If your offer ur money and help.., then that's different!
Good luck ,and best to you Sweetie.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011): Stick to your guns. You did the right thing. This man is a liar, and a thief, not to mention his problem with alcohol.
If you let him back in your life you will only go on suffering and being used.
You owe him nothing and the latest separation (like all the others) is his fault entirely.
Be strong. Don't have him back.
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