A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend now nearly two years and when we first met he told me there was better looking girls out there than me. I was very hurt over this and very insecure and worried and everyday rang my friend for advise she kept telling me he was only telling me the truth and that I was very shallow and that I was wrong and he was right. So then I thought ok I'll stay with him as we got on very well outside of this. Then after like about seven months of me constantly been insecure constantly worried he told me it was just super models he was talking about then a few months later he said he was lying to me the whole time that he thought I was the best and only said there was better looking girls cause he was afraid to get close in case I hurt him. He said he lied when he changed it to super models he said he did this cause he was afraid I would get paranoid about every girl out there. He said he said things not knowing I'd take it so bad. Now then he said he sees girls he finds good looking everyday. Then I asked him is it there bodies too and he said no. Then last week a few months later he says yes he lied he sees women everyday that he finds good looking and there bodies hot and sexy that he notices if there bodies are hot and sexy......... I feel like every so often he drops bombshells I had asked him a few months ago is there anymore bombshells and he swore no this is it. He turned around last week and had another bombshell.... he is wrecking my head and I'm worried and insecure everyday feeling I need to ask friends etc for advice I'm so confused and worried he says I'm the best but I find it hard to trust him after all the lies. He has told me we will go to relationship counseling and get help and that he has already stopped cause it has turned him off looking that it hurts me so much
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): I'd break it off with him. He sounds like a terrible louse and you deserve better. Don't take the abuse any longer. Empower yourself with people who love you for you. You are a good person with a good head on your shoulders. Remember, no one can make you feel bad or ugly unless you give them the permission to do so.
A
male
reader, Remniscent  +, writes (14 March 2011):
You know what? Dump that jerk! He did something wrong, then tried to make up for it by lying once he realised it was wrong. Then he did it again! He is a jerk! Dump him!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011): Wow this makes me very sad... why are you putting up with this? That's verbal abuse... And also I feel like you guys will never actually make it to relationship counseling as with all the other lies he's told you. Sweetheart, I guarantee you are a beautiful girl and NO GIRL on the entire planet should every be told by their boyfriend that there are better looking girls out there. (And I don't care if he says he says it because it's a way of keeping you.) If you don't lower your standards to someone like him, you will find someone who thinks you are the most beautiful thing he's ever seen because he loves you more than on the earth and he'll tell you everyday. I know this because I have that one myself. Now I know how hard it can be to break it off with someone you've been dating a while but trust me honey, you deserve SO much better than this. My heart goes out to you and I hope you can find the strength in yourself to break up with him and find the one who truly and unconditionally loves you. He IS out there. Be strong 3
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