A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:There is a gentleman that I've been dating on and off for about a year and a half now. I saw him tonight (he came over) for the first time in about 5 months and we made out. I let him touch my breasts, but I did not touch his penis. I just didn't think I should since it's been so long since I saw him. When we were dating before, we went further than we did tonight but we still haven't had sex. I have always been determined to have sex for the first time with the person I know I'm going to marry and I would still like that to happen. My question is, would it have been all right to touch, or did I do the right thing by not touching?
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (10 August 2008):
 Well I must have missed the part about the 5 month of no contact but I must say that the advice you have been given by the other aunts sounds about right.
You know how you want your sex life to continue and if this guy is staying away for that length of time and it is full on when he sees you again he will think he may go all the way with you. However if like the others have said he has been seeing other people during that 5 months, he could be USED goods so to speak and unless you are certain of someone and what type of lifestyle they lead I would never go further on an intimate level.
Have you ever visited his home or know his friends and family, have you got to know the real man yet?
BFN
Country Woman
A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (10 August 2008):
 I agree with "Smiles". I think he came over after yu contacted him because, well, you aren't going to like what I am about to say... I think maybe he may of thought that this time it would be a "sure thing."
I could be wrong though. If it were me, I would wait. See if he calls YOU next. See what happens. If he doesn't call you, then you'll know.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): You have been dating on and off for about a year and a half; you have not had contact for about 5 monhts; then you contacted him and you saw him again after five months;
Personally I think you did the right thing not getting to intimate with him after such a long time not being togehter and also I don't think you would like to be sexually intimate with somebody unless you are in a relationship;
I don't understand why your dating in the past was on and off? Have you resolved whatever was wrong or preventing you from having a relationship then? Why will it be different now? Have you discussed it or was it just a get together with an old friend?
Best wishes and lots of SMILES.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to Sandygirl...I should tell you that I contacted HIM. So what do you think of the situation, having that information? Please let me know. Thanks
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (9 August 2008):
You are an age where it is very rare that you are still a virgin but by the sounds of things you are and that in itself is a whole other ball game.
If you have been dating for over a year and a half then you should know this man by now and by allowing him to touch you intimately you are getting him aroused and by saying oh no further this is being a bit of a tease if you are not going to go fully ahead with sex.
If you are unsure about how he feels about you then you need to ask him as playing around will only make him frustrated but if he knows your views on sex before marriage then he must be accepting of that.
If you are going to have foreplay but not full sex then it must be something that is agreed as there obviously has to be a point at which you say stop or he knows he must go further beyond.
The more you play with a man's penis the more likely it is for him to be aroused and want to take things further so that final decision is really up to you but if you play with fire you make get your fingers burnt.
A man will not always wait around forever and so you need to talk about boundaries here.
There are no guarantees in life that if you wait to have sex with the man you are going to marry that the sex is going to be fantastic as normally the first time is not a bed of roses believe me.
Talk first of all to your man and see where it takes you OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (9 August 2008):
If you have't seen him in 5 months, then I think you did the right thing. Where has he been? Even though I don't know the whole story, My perception is that possibly he was seeing some one and it didn't work out. So therefore, he contacted you again.
Or maybe he is married, playing the field, which may explain why your dating patern is on and off.
I think you sould take it slow with him. Follow your senses, and don't let him use you.
Take care girl.
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