A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, im wondering should i have sex with one of my close friendds for the first time. actuaally what im asking is would it be right? becausei can see myself doing that with him, ive done stuff with him before. were really close and it would be something were open to each other about. i think it would be good for the first time because we wouldnt have to worry about how we are doing it we could just experiment.. or do u have to do it with someone u truely love? i honestly feel better about doing it with this friend than anyone else. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): Are able to take care of yourself financially and emotionally and can also support a baby financially and emotionally (knowing this and knowing that abortion is not the way out), also if you trust your partner to know 100% that he doesn't have any diseases (there are about 40 stds), you both should go get std tests done together; who ever your partner has been with sexually you will ultimately be with all of them to, and also are willing to chance ruining a good friendship which is possible, and also are willing to understand that you may both be just using one another as tools for sexual pleasure, and you are willing to understand that sex is just sex and making love is with love and make a choice which one you're both going to perform, and know that the only method of 100% guarantee of no transmission of any STD or to get pregnant is through abstinence. Also remember, guys produce like 10 times the amount of testosterone then females so guys usually just want sex to fee good since it is a nature thing. Finally, do you have any morals, vaules, or beliefs? Thinking about these things can also help guide you to make an important decision in life. Also remember, humnans are the only species that can make decisions based on logic and intellect.
A
female
reader, wiccanwish  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Hi,
First are you legally allowed to have sex? If you are ok.
If you trust him, and he trusts you I can't see the problem with you just experimenting, You seem like a sensible couple and if you want to do it.
I hope this helps!
Love wiccanwish.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): You have been given sound advise by the others. All I want to say is:
Listen to them.
I am yet another who think that same.
All these people can not be wrong.
Good Luck. X
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A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 LJ001....what a fantastic answer you have given....my compliments to your maturity.....
Anon (poster) please read what LJ001 has written......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Okay I'm going to ignore your age for a sec and just answer the question. I don't believe you should have sex with your friend. I can totally see where you're coming from, and sometimes it does seem like it would be so much easier with a friend. But you won't be saying that when you've fallen in love honey! There's somebody out there that loves you and wants to marry you and spend their life with you. Wouldn't you prefer your first time to be simply magical with them? Sex is an emmotional thing too, and I can guarantee - if you lost your virginity to a guy that really does love you, it will be so much less painful and just seeing the love in his eyes will be amazing. Please, don't waste your virginity on a friend, or even a best friend. Sex was intended for couples, as in boyfriend-girlfriend, and not friends, however tempting it may be.
And coming on to your age... I'm gonna sound like your mom here, but why the rush honey? I know how it feels, I'm not that much older than you, but if you take a step back and look at yourself, you could live until you're 90! Scary thought! And between the ages of 13 and 15, your hormones are playing around and you're not totally settled in a relationship with this guy. Besides, sweety, it's illegal. And I'm sorry to say it but it's illegal for a reason - no matter how much you believe otherwise, young teens just aren't ready.
Wait, and then you could have little hearts scattered over the bed, or champagne, or beautiful love music. You couldn't have all these 'love things' with your best friend! It can be so much more romantic with your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, Queeny  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 You do not have to ruin your friendship with this guy.. you are obviously not ready for it and if you could just wait a little longer for the person you love... it would be even much more enjoyable.. for now, it'll just be "an experiment" just to let you know that once you start havin sex you'll be sexually active and will want more of it eventually your "friend" may want to commit to a serious gal and will not want to have experimental sex with you thus leaving you heart broken and a scattered friendship.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2008): Why are you in a hurry to have sex? I think it is better and more satisfying if you have sex with someone that you love, then it is called 'making love'. But what you are talking about is 'sex', then it is up to you and not for someone else to decide, but make sure that he wears protection, no diseases or babies.
take care
xx
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Do not feel like sex is something you have to rush into.
You're only very young - I'd advise you to wait a while longer before doing it with /anyone/.
Don't have sex with him just because he's your mate and you're done stuff with him before. You only lose your virginity once - would you rather it be with some friend or with a person you actually love and care for, and who loves and cares for you in return?
This could well be something you regret in years to come.
Think about the consequences of your actions.
As I said, I'd advise you to wait a while longer.
But ultimately, it's your choice.
Choose wisely, USE PROTECTION, and best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, Upenn_09 +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Honey!, I am in college and I will tell you that I am still a virgin but it if I have chosen to remain a virgin is because to me giving my virginity is such an intimate act that I wouldn't feel comfortable having sex with just ANYONE and then hoping that he'll still want me or even remember me.
In your case, you are still fairly young and I honestly wouldn't "recommend" for two reasons
1) it might stir "weird" feelings towards each other , or it could even ruin a good friendship
2)girls are more prone to get attached to a guy due to some chemical that the brain releases during intercourse
HOWEVER...
if it is something that YOU want to do, something that YOU are completely SURE about and you KNOW that you won't regret, you trust the person you'll be having sex with, if you know the possible consequences and know how to have safe sex then I'd say that you are "ready"
but overall put yourself and your feelings first, understand the consequences and protect yourself! ( I sound like a mom don't I?, HAHA)
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