A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I just turned 21 in October. I've been living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Things were good at first cause I was new to the area and had no friends there. Well I made friends...and course they wanted to hang out with me. At first he was cool with it but as I "matured" I wanted to stay out later. I had no bad intentions. I just wanted to be with friends. He put me on a 7pm curfew!! He told me recently that he may bump it up to 8 or 9pm. 10pm at the latest. He says thats enough time for me to be out. Hes told me I cant hang out with so and so. That I can only hang out with one friend..and only that one friend. He wants me to make friends at his church. Hes pretty much taking my friends away..which I did not allow. He doesn't know I still see and talk to them. Hes so jealous of my friends. I'm afraid to ask him if I can hang out. His mood changes. Told me I cant have guys friends, guy numbers, no late nights, no bars, no clubs..unless hes there!! No trust! Hes so scared I'm going to leave him. Hes so attached to me. He hugs me non stop. He gets hurt/mad when I push him away. I dont want to have sex with him..but he does. I practically force myself..or else he'll get a temper and get mad. I've planned on leaving him. Any advice here??
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female
reader, Twirly  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 Hey Sweetie,
I was in a similar situation when I was 21, I had been with my first boyfriend for 3 years and although it was great for the first two, by the end I felt controlled and possessed and was not happy at all.
I ended up staying with him another year out of sympathy, and it was such a horrible year, I often look back and wonder why I didn't break it off sooner!
My advice would be yes, definitely go ahead and leave. With everything you've said there's no possible reason for you to stay in this unhappy relationship any longer.
You have a whole life ahead and you'll be so much happier when you take that step and leave.
At the end of the day please remember he doesn't own you, you are free to get up and leave him right now!
I would also try to lay low after the breakup and not allow him to drag it all out into a big drama. Just tell him honestly and as quickly as you can and don't look back!
Big hug and good luck xxx
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (28 May 2008):
 He sounds like a controlling, jealous, manipulative bastard, and I'd advise you to go ahead with your plan.
A boyfriend should not be telling you when you can go out and who you can be friends with - a proper relationship should have a solid foundation of trust, which he obviously doesn't feel.
As for having temper tantrums about sex - what is he, six?!
You are making the right decision. Leave him.
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