| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a girl who had been in love with a guy for 2 years. He doesn't love me, he cares for, me but I doubt he loves me. He wants sex, and I am a virgin. Should I do it or not? The country I live in doesn't approve of such stuff but it's happening, isn't it? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2009): no because like me this boy who has been my friend for years wants to have sex with me. at first it was a little crush and it was cute butnow he keeps telling me to trust him. he is saying that he would use a condom. he is 14 years old. he invited me and my friend to the movies and he said that if he can make one of use like him we become his girlfriend and has to do what ever he says for two days no matter what so i droped out the contest but i dont think that you should have sex early cause are you ready to have a baby?really are you dont become one of the people that people call 304s
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): my answer is no, because some of the guy they just want to use you, and after they leave you alone.or if they stay with you, they won't have respect for you, the way it suppose to be, they might think that if other guy ask you for sex you were gonna do it. and they won't trust you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): tell him to go a way
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2006): dont do it
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): Ummm... my opinion is to just wait till you know someone that actually LOVES you. Cuz once you lose your virginity its gone forever! I am 17 years old. Almost 18 and i'm still a virgin. I don't plan to be that way till marriage. Just till I know i'm in LOVE! But yeah no one else can really make this decision for you. You have to know in the end what ya wanna do! Well I hope this works out for you :)
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): heck no gurl find you a man with a heart.......you can do much better although i dont know you no woman deserves to give up their only self right that cant be taken away over some one who "only cares"....Hunny keep prayin and the one who truely "loves you" and the one worth givein it up to will come along...33Blake
...............................
A
reader, wwww.datinghaven.com +, writes (19 September 2005):
Whats your definition of he dont love you?
if he reli doesnt love you then like the rest have said, dont do it!
But if he cares for you as having feelings for you and stuff and simply hasnt said "I Love You" then perhaps you should, however, you sound underage so you should wait.
Those fairly simple on paper 3 words, can be very difficult to say, just because the words havn't been said doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. I say this because you said 'doubt', you should ask him. it seems you lack conversation and therefore trust which means your relationship is failing.
I would be greatful if you could reply stating more information like why he doesnt love you. It sounds like you been together for 2 years? Thats along time to be with someone who you dont 'love'.
I dont want to sound confusing but i agree with what the others have said, yet as you said doubt and you dont sound sure, before leaving this guy, i think you need to talk, many people loves people for years without saying so, some people find it hard to say their feelings while others find it easy.
Males are less in tune with their emotional and feelings side then women i think (coming from a bloke lol *hands up*), i have been in situations myself where i've failed to state my feelings for someone and therefore lost them forever so i have a bit of a soft spot for those male or female that might go through the same situation.
I never got another chance in these situations, it didnt matter how much after we talked that i said those three words and totally honest and open with my feelings, getting presents, phoning, texting, emailing or whatever useless, it was like "you had your chance.." and had no consideration for me.
Without creating a war between males and females, most guys can say a decision straight away whether or not its sensible one, where females normally spend all nite think about it, whether its a delayed reaction because of the multi-tasking or a clever way of doing things, the more sensible option, and if a guy will give you the time for you to think about your feelings then i think you should grant him the same privillage.
You need to talk together and allow him to think over night stating that if he doesnt love you that you are over and that you want to save your virginity for some who loves you, say that we can talk via the phone in the morning, and that you will likely ring him, *however* dont ring him at all, if he reli loves you he should ring you, maybe not in the morning if he is waiting for a call from you. If theres no contact from him at all then you should move on...
...............................
A
female
reader, Ms. Heather +, writes (7 September 2005):
Sex is not only supposed to be about truly loving one another, but sex is about feeling each other emotionally and spiritually. How can this guy truly care about you if all he wants from you is sex? By giving yourself to him, you're giving him everything; your heart, soul, mind, and most importantly your sweet virginity. Once you lose your virginity, like most gilrs I know, you will become attached. And in your case, this guy already knows that you know he doesnt love you, so he's going to expect you to act like everything is normal afterward, and for you, every thing will be different because your sweet virginity is gone! Trust me it's very hard to get over the fact that you lost your virginity to someone who doesnt love you back, I've been there, Just think about it...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2005): Don't do it, you'll regret it for as long as you live. You NEVER forget the first time so it has to be something very special!
...............................
A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (29 August 2005):
 Just the mere fact that you are asking about it...means don't do it. Save yourself for someone who REALLY REALLY loves you and who you share an intimacy with. Virginity is something to be given to someone special..not someone who just cares
...............................
A
male
reader, 50:50 +, writes (29 August 2005):
No, dont do it, if this guy doesnt't love you, having sex with him wont change anything. My advice would be to forget about him and find someone more deserving of your attention.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 August 2005):
 No, don't do it.
Having sex with this boy will NOT make him love you, if he doesn't already.
Your virginity is something precious and special and you shouldn't be throwing it away with someone who won't treasure it like a gift.
Unfortunately, a lot of girls think that they can make guys find them more attractive if they decide to give in and have sex, but the sad fact is that the guys will often accept the sex with no strings attached, even if you didn't plan it that way. So you might end up giving your virginity to this guy, who won't care about you, and may very well walk away in a few weeks or months.
Please don't waste time pining away for a guy who doesn't love you, and most of all, don't just have sex thinking that will make his feelings stronger. Guys aren't wired up in the same way as girls, and don't necessarily equate sex with love.
I really think you need to look elsewhere for a man who loves you.
...............................
|
