A
female
age
41-50,
*ecentlymovedtoSD
writes:Hello all. I'm going through a painful trial at the moment and I want opinions as to whether I made the right choice or not. I'm 28, he's 21. I'm originally from NY and just recently moved to San Diego, leaving him behind. Long story short-he pursued me. I took it as an adventure. Eventually we were spending every day together. I fell in love as well as he. Obviously our physical connection was out of this world, but there's also a strong mental connection. So I moved. He's about to get his bachelor's. He admitted he won't limit himself when it comes to starting relationships w/other women, but he wanted to keep contact with me... on a daily basis, phone calls 2 hours daily, lots of sharing. I told him I couldn't keep doing that b/c if he was to meet someone else it would tear me up. So I cut him off. Clean and quick. No contact whatsoever. But it's killing me. I cry constantly and to know that he misses me just as much is a big temptation to get back in contact with him. Should I have kept contact or did I do the right thing?
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female
reader, recentlymovedtoSD +, writes (17 March 2009):
recentlymovedtoSD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell. I took your advise Jezebel. I am grateful. I began thinking about it and I came to the conclusion that it hurts just as much now then it will in the future if he was to find someone else. And his response was very positive and I guess I will just close my eyes and leap. Thanks again. Denny as well...b/c you were honest in what you thought and hopefully you're wrong...lol for my sake. But thank you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): Why wait? Do it tonight! Just explain to him that you have been hurt in the past and that you are just going to be a little cautious at first. There is nothing wrong with that! I say if you have a chance for love then go for it!!! Let me know how it goes, I will be crossing my fingers for you!...Jezebel
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A
female
reader, recentlymovedtoSD +, writes (17 March 2009):
recentlymovedtoSD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJezebel, I like what you say. I want to call him. I can't deal with all this pain, but I know it should get easier with time. I have trusted with my heart before and have been hurt so deeply I thought I wouldn't let that happen again. If I was to get in contact with him, should I wait a while or do it tonight? lol. I cut him off on Saturday. His response was very unselfish and loving. He says he just wants me to be happy and is willing to let me go if this is what I choose. Thanks for all your advise!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2009): I dont know that you should have cut all ties completely. You didnt even give the poor guy a chance! Did he say anything to you that would have lead you to believe that he was going to get involved with someone else? Girl, BELIEVE ME I am a champion at the whole 'I will end it before you can hurt me' game and let me tell you, it sucks after awhile. Eventually you will have to let someone in. Otherwise you will just be alone and sad. I know how hard it is to open yourself up to someone and to trust them with your heart. But I say take a chance, call him! Give it a try. Let me know what you decide! Good luck...Jez
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