A
female
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anonymous
writes:Hi, guys.I just want to know how I'm supposed to react to this..My boyfriend and me have been together for almost a year now.. We live in a house, with 4 of his other friends..A few weeks ago, I made plans to go out with my friends on the spur of the moment.. My friends live far away, and I don't get to see them very often.. I got home and told my boyfriend, and he told me that he had wanted to watch a movie with me that night, as he was feeling down..So I cancelled my evening out with my friends..An hour later, his friend who he hadn't seen in ages called up to the house.. He was stayin the night, and was going to play poker with them all... I said to my boyfriend that I didn't mind if he went out to play poker with his friends. (By now it was too late for me to change my plans, as my friends live so far away)..But he said to me 'I want to go out and play cards with my friend, who I haven't seen in 4 months, but I'm going to stay with you and watch a movie'.When I got upset, he didn't understand why, because he said that I should be flattered that he picked me over his friends... But I just feel like an obligation..Did I take this wrong? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, MarthaZ +, writes (20 March 2006):
 What were your thinking before your decision to spend time with your bf over your friend, before he got that call? He was feeling down so you decided to cancel your plans to stay in with him.
In the same token he didn't see his mates, just like you did, so he can spend time with you. I would have felt appreciated that my bf chose to spend time with me instead of his mates.
People have different thinkings behind every behaviour, but I would say he was just wanted to spend time with you even though he could have left you after cancelling your plan. Don't feel like an obligation, he was being sincere so accept it was it is.
A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (20 March 2006):
 i dont know about this one, its very diffcult to tell what he was ment to be expressing when he said "you should be flattered that i picked you over them" maybe it was just the wrong wording to us during that exact moment and was not intending it to be hurtful but i dont know it all depends on the tone of the voice and the body language he was using. but just think of it this way what if he had of changed his mind and did go with this friends, yea sure you said he could go if he wants but everyone knows deep down that you would be a tiny bit pissed that he went off with his friends and you cancelled your friends to spend the nite with him. i think getting really upset was a little overboard with this one,in the end you both cancelled your arrangments with friends to be with each other, dont feel like your an obligation remeber it was his idea to get together in the first place and im sure if he felt that you were just an obligation he probably would have sat there and windged all nite about how bored he is or that he wish he had of gone with his friends.
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