A
female
age
30-35,
*arnes66
writes:I like one of my co-workers.We work in completely unrelated departments.(we don't have work-related contact) However, we seem to run into each other walking in and out of conference rooms, hallways ,elavotors and staff rooms. He now always make it a point to smile ,ask how I'm doing .I see him see him around 1-3 times a week if I'm lucky. Whenever I do run into it's either I'm in hurry to go back on my floor or he's busy with a resident.He also takes his lunch time different from mine.I'm unable to take my lunch at the same as his since we work in completely different departments.I would prefer to talk to him in person but whenever I run into him there's always other co'workers and it's either when i'm on my way to my floor after my break etc when I can't afford being late on the floor.I'm also planning to leave the company for unrelated in the near future.So I was thinking to hand him a note one day at the end of my shift basically telling that I've like him for while now and would like to get to know him better.I will also write down my number to text me.What do you think?
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female
reader, Barnes66 +, writes (28 May 2016):
Barnes66 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I'm also aware that he could be just friendly and nothing else but I just want to put my mind at ease knowing one way or another. If he isn't interested then at least I know and can move than try to gauge his interest....wondering what if .I just feel like the only way to know for sure is to be direct than wasting time
A
female
reader, Barnes66 +, writes (28 May 2016):
Barnes66 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your replies.I decided not to give him a note for the reasons you aunts stated.Howeever, I'm going to ask him if he's married/in a relationship next time I see him.Like I said, I don't know his last name nor do we have mutual friends.The only way to find out his relationship status is to ask him directly. If he's single then I'll keep being friendly ,give him my number at some point and leave the ball in his court
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A
female
reader, ArtisticBiscuit  +, writes (28 May 2016):
 Do what your heart is telling you to do.
The more you overthink it, the less likely you will ever do it.
The worst thing he's do is throw away the note.
You could ask other colleagues what they think you should do.
Work relationships can work and still you're leaving soon. You don't want to regret not doing anything. Then be forever wondering 'what if I sent the note'.
No harm in trying -ArtisticBiscuit
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2016): I know that office romances are complicated, but in my case all of my bfs except one came from my workplace and I met my husband there, so I cannot tell you no to go there. But try to get to know him better before you make your move. First of all you may discover that he really is just friendly and that there isn't anything special in the way he treats you. Secondly, as it has already been mentioned, you may find out that he is in a relationship or married. Thirdly he may prefer men :)Let's say that you are okay with everything that you have found out (I am not judging even if you would go after a married man). Even then the note is not the way to go. It's not only immature, it takes all the romance out of it. Kids use notes since they can't do any better. I consider myself a fairly open-minded person (office romance and all ;), but I still believe that as a general rule men should have the idea that they are the ones going after you, even if you are the one who started the thing in the first place. There are exceptions of course but you must know the guy pretty well to be sure that he is in that rare group.By giving him the note, that idea is destroyed. The only thing that stays is you boosting his ego. And he could be quite content with it and leave it at that.As HoneyPie has said, flirting is the way to go to kick the ball into his court. Sure it takes more courage and skill than passing a note since it has to be obvious enough to give him an idea that he could have a chance with you but not obvious enough to give him an idea that he has.I am not really good with words, so I spontaneously mostly used body language. But combination is best, I suppose. Whatever obstacles you are facing (different departments, schedules...) there's always a way. Be creative! They guy I really liked (and later dated) and I at some point couldn't go over a wall of a certain formality in our communication. It was so frustrating. Our eyes, hands, lips were having a completely different conversation, while we had talked in such a banal and formal way I wanted to scream in disbelief. So I started bringing food around and would offer it to him. And it worked :) First of all sharing food is a good ice breaker. If he's interested in you, he'll say yes to pretty much anything you have to offer (unless he's allergic ;). Secondly, eating strawberries is a nice image and can linger in the head of a guy that likes you :)
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A
female
reader, Barnes66 +, writes (27 May 2016):
Barnes66 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also want to add that I don't know his last name so checking his fb is not an option.We don't have mutual friends so I might have to bluntly ask him if he has a wife/Girlfriend
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A
female
reader, Barnes66 +, writes (27 May 2016):
Barnes66 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHow about giving him a note with just my number on it and ask him to text me sometime? The thing is, I'm planning to leave the company in the near future and I feel like I will regret not taking the chance regardless of the outcome.Like i said, I hardly see him around and when I do we're both busy and it's only brief.There's no time to chat or flirt to gauge his interest. Just for the record, I dated a co-worker before at different company, it really wasn't a big deal. ..My sister is married to her co-worker so I'm not against it
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (27 May 2016):
 Passing notes about liking boys belongs in middle school, not the workplace. It's unprofessional, and it could lead up to and including the eventual loss of your job, your livelihood, and your career reputation.
Leave romance OUT of your workplace, and you're much too old to be passing notes to anyone. Like Honeypie said, you don't know the guy, and if he's married/attached, how would you answer his wife or girlfriend confronting you, note in hand? What about how you'd answer your boss if this guy decides to file a sexual harassment suit, note of proof in hand?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2016):
 Let's for a minute think this over.
You BARELY know the guy. You are attracted to what you see. From the little interaction you have had only one thing is clear. He is a social and friendly person. Maybe he say hi how are yo to ALL the ladies or to ALL the other friendly people he run into. It's kind of part of networking. People REMEMBER a friendly face, friendly person.
You BOTH work in the same place, so let's say he is JUST being friendly. You give him a note and he isn't interested, he was JUST friendly.. so how AWKWARD would it be afterwards still running into him at work?
You don't know if he has a GF, a fiance, a wife - and if he DOES have one of those... how AWKWARD do you think it would be AFTER you give him a note? (like an 6 grader)
So I would, personally, NOT hand him a note. Using the rule - don't date where you work is a SMART one. Some office romances work, most don't.
Now if you don't care if it could become awkward, you JUST want to get to know him. Then I would actually "check" him out at little first, like Facebook, Instagram - see if he has one. That way you can see BEFOREHAND if he has a GF/BF or if he is single.
If he IS single, next time you run into him and he says: Hey how are you, you could flirt and tell him;" I was dying for a good cup of coffee, but seeing your handsome face is cheering me up just as well."
Or a "we really need to stop meeting like this, these meeting are just too short"...
"I was thinking of you earlier, and here you are!"
Or something you think is cute.
Then you smile and exit. BALL is now soundly in his court.
It's a cute little flirt. And it works in the way that you didn't HIT on him, but still showed interest. So IF he too is interested he now knows YOU are as well. Might make it SO much easier for him to approach you.
Flirting isn't about being "Captain Obvious" - it can be somewhere in between obvious interest and fun banter. But it can be used to SHOW interest with out spelling it out.
If he doesn't react at all to it, then maybe you need to accept that he is JUST being friendly.
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