A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been invited to a surprise birthday party for a guy I have known for several years. He has had feelings for me for a long time and has often tried to tell me by asking my friends how I feel and writing me letters. I do not reciprocate his feelings in any way and do not feel attracted to him at all, I find it difficult to be near him when I know he likes me as I find it embarrassing! Should I go to the party? I don't want to because I don't want him to be worrying about me if I'm there, I think he would feel more comfortable and relaxed if I wasn't. But I don't have a good excuse to not go and I don't want to seem rude, i dont think his sister who has invited me knows he has feelings for me. Please help me decide if I should go! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2011): Thankyou for all your answers and you definitely seem to agree with each other that I shouldn't go. I didn't mention that some of my friends will be going but it is a one off and I don't think I will miss out on much! I will think up something else to do that day so I can honestly say I'm busy, thanks again :)
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (12 July 2011):
 If you don't want to go, then just don't go. There's a million different excuses you can use.
If you go, he could take that as a sign of interest... which may make him more persistent.
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (11 July 2011):
 No don't go. Far too uncomfortable. Say you are meeting family at this time. Or, washing your hair?
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (11 July 2011):
 No don't go. You don't need to come up with an excuse simply say you are not avaliable that night. Don't go into details.
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A
female
reader, namnixon6766 +, writes (11 July 2011):
i am in exactly the same situation but the boy is my best friends, friend from university and he is really close it all the rest of my friends. I have been avoiding him as well and it isnt fair because now i dont really get it see my friends on a nightout because of it.are some of your other friends going if so, i would go even if it just for a little while to show your face then at least you have made the effort, if not just dnt show up, maybe he wont notice or just say you havent been well
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