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Should I go or stay?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 July 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 August 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Iam 30 yrs old and married to a wonderful, extremely caring, gentle and patient guy for the last 4 years and we share a common passion for holidays, food, wine, countryside etc. which we enjoy doing together. I couldnt ask for a better husband, there are however two big issues i face - i have a high sex drive and we are not sexually compatible - the last time was over a year ago, neither of us initiate it and i just dont fancy him. I am ashamed to say that i have cheated on him on more than 1 occasion to make up for the lack of it. The second issue is that he is very lazy, doesnt have much of a drive/ambition in life, being an extremely laid back kind - has been jobless for sometime and i am not sure will put much effort into finding something. I find this very annoying as i like people who have a purpose in life. We are financially ok. Do i leave my sexless but reasonably comfortable and secure marraige and see what else is out there, aware that i maynot ever meet a guy who will quite match my husbands care and affection towards me, or have as much compatibility in say holidays etc,, or do i stay put?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2009):

I would bet he is satisfying himself and is very selfish to not want to share that special bond with you. ( As are women selfish who refuse to enjoy a mutually satisfying sexual relationship).

Perhaps he feels embarrassed and inadequate.

Usually men who feel too uncomfortable to share a sexual partnership turn to porn.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2009):

thanks guys, really helpful. i still cant make a final decision but atleast i dont feel like a awful selfish person thinking that i expect too much out of life and i should be happy with what i have!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009):

Get out of there NOW. You can share common interests and trips to the country with any friend. You should have enough respect for yourself and for your mate to want love, joy, passion in your marriage. He deserves that, too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2009):

Has one of you had a win on the lottery or something? You have a common interest in holidays, wine, food etc, you're financially ok yet he doesn't have a job? How is that? Are you a sort of Paris Hilton or Amy Winehouse character perhaps?

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