A
female
age
30-35,
*eautifulParadise
writes:My baby father just turned up after not being present for two months. And right now I have been dealing directly with his mom since he apparently doesnt want to deal directly with me So the thing is his mom invited me over one day becauss she had bought gifts for the child. I went there and the baby father wasnt even there even tho his car was. Now his mom told me while being there that he wasnt present because he is waiting for the paternity results ( even tho his mom said it was prob 100% bec my son looks just like his father). Fast forward to now I continue to talk directly to his mom bec he still wont talk to me. So she invited me to go this weekend to present my son to his father and as well as a couple family members. (Since the paternity results will be here today. I spoke with my mother to see if I should go, which she has advise me not to..she told me they should come here since I already went there. The thing is I live in a small apartment with my mother, so its not like the baby's father whole fam could come. I am not sure what I should...I went to get along with them for my son's sake but at the same time I dont want them to take advantage of me. What would you do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 August 2017):
 You have to show up and "present" your son to his dad? What?
While I think his mom is TRYING to include you and her grandchild I think it's messed up that you have to drag around a little one so the baby can be "seen" by the family.
I'd take pictures and give them to grandmom and then she can show those off.
If you want to show him off (nothing wrong in that) I would honestly rather GO see them (unless it's very far) That way you can set a time for when you want to leave. Where as it can be harder to tell people to "go away" when they are guests in your house.
If you don't want to go, then don't (nothing wrong in that either).
A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (30 August 2017):
Just go there. If there isn't room for them to come to you then regardless of whose turn it is the physics of a small apartment means they can't come! I am so so sorry that the father of you child appears to me a huge pain in the arse, and I wish you all the best but you have 18 years of swallowing your anger and pride and doing what's best for your baby so you should start now and go there and try and make peace with they babies Father's family. Perhaps in time he will grow up and realise that he has to step up and be a man and a Father this child can be proud of not disappointed by but a little charity of attitude now will go a long way to helping that happen-if you put up barriers he will too. This isn't to be a pushover in the long run but a little give now may go a long way later. You have been an exeptional example of a Woman and a Mother so far. And it seems the women will sort out this mess together. Try and maintain good relations with his mom, hopefully he'll grow up in time. I wish you Good Luck. KIA KAHA!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2017): Decide according to the number of people coming. I don't think his whole family is coming, my dear. The size of the apartment is not what they're coming to see. They're acknowledging the baby as a part of their family.
It's better on your home-turf. You can put them out if they misbehave. Being in your own domain gives you power and authority. They are forced to behave and honor your hospitality.
Invite them to your home. It will make them accept not only the baby, but you as well. You don't have to be beholden to his family. Let them come to you. If he doesn't show-up fine; just be sure those child-support checks are on time when the paternity-test results prove he's the daddy!
God bless you and your baby, sweetheart!
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A
female
reader, suzzzque269 +, writes (30 August 2017):
 i agree with your mom, you made the effort the last time. if you continue to make all the effort the dad probably wont step up. just take him to court and make sure he helps take care of the babys financial needs.
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