A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend have been together have been together for nearly six months now and are very happy.We have got as far as me with my top off and her with her bra undone but still have her top on. I want to go a bit further and suggest oral but i dont know how to bring it up in a conversation so basically im asking for some advise on how i should bring it up.If she says she doesnt want to then im not going to pressure into doing anything and wont mention it again and also make sure that it will never go further than oral because i dont want to be a teenage dad (i have seen the tv programs).
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Why you kids always got to be in such as rush. I'm an old woman and I still remember the fun to be had with gentleman courtisies and hot pashionate forplay and necking. In this time of your life as a young gentleman, soon to be an adult you shouldn't be thinking of sex games and taking things so far. You should be the responsible one and be thinking of ways to get close to her without the problems that sex will bring you. You may not believe it, but for some of us adults, kissing is perfectly acceptable after six months. If we were doing BJ's with different guys every six months we'd have bad reputations and very low self esteme.
The correct timebable for sex at your age (and for a lot of adults) is six months kissing, six months with top on, six months with top off and then back massages and carresses for both of you, including hands, feet and arms. Oral activity is sex and should not be included untill you both come of age. Take time, learn how to drive a woman wild with just mouth to mouth contact. Stroke her shoulders, message her head, kiss her neck. There are so many places you can make a woman feel good, and if you ask her I'm sure if she touches you in the same way they will make you feel good as well. Rushed sexual activity always ruins relationships, so take your time, keep your trousers on and learn to be a good and carefull lover with no pressure, guilt or mistakes to ruin your life.
PS: Forget about what your friends say, ALL MEN LIE ABOUT SEX.
A
female
reader, dangerouslove.  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 If you feel that you are ready, there should be no problem bringing it up in a conversation. You should be comfortable with your girlfriend before you decide to take it to another level. If you want to perform oral sex, but feel awkward talking about. While kissing, make her feel good with your hands and just study her reaction and start going further. I wouldn't suggest sex at your age though. I lost my virginity at thirteen and became an easy target after so.
But, best of you luck too you!
If someday you decide to have sex.
Make sure you use a comdom or suggest birth control.
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A
female
reader, G_1212 +, writes (16 June 2008):
I was 13 when I first had sex & have regretted it
Stick to kissing & petting
But if you must go further push the topless play & maybe hands?
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A
female
reader, Emi:3 +, writes (16 June 2008):
just keep a healthy relationship
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): First maybe be for you ask about oral, you should try and ask her to take her top off completely in the dark or something
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Heavy petting is enough for now and to me oral sex is still sex and wouldnt want my kids taking that step at such a young age.
Its ok saying you wouldnt want to go beyond oral but in the heat of the moment it is all to easy to get carried away and before you know it you've got her irrate dad beating on your front door as shes pregnant.
If you really like/love this girl wait until you are legally allowed to have sex before you progress to this stage x
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A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Oh my god, how old are you?!
You're a BABY, what are you doing thinking about going down on some girl?! or vice versa?
Don't go any further; at least wait until you're legal. You're not missing anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeh it doesnt have to be oral but even getting in that i am willing to do more with my hands
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Top on, then top off... To progress from this to oral sex is a big jump and you should wait at least a year untill you suggest this. Try to become expert at what you have now and work on making her feel good in your hands.
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A
female
reader, c3c3znumba1 +, writes (15 June 2008):
tell her how your feeling and she will let you know how she feels, as for the sex part you can avoid that with birth control and condoms.
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A
female
reader, rebecca.megan +, writes (15 June 2008):
 well if you're as close as you say you are, it shouldn't be a problem bringing it up in conversation, i know it isn't with me&my bf.
like you said, if it does come up and she says she's not ready, you have to respect that and understand, as if you presure her, then no way will she tolerate this, and if she does it for your' pleasure, then i'm sure you wouldn't want it to be this way.
I've only been with my bf for a couple of moths, and we've started doing stuff, but he understands that i don't want to go all the way yet, and it makes me love him more for the fact that he respects this about me, whic she will too.
If you say your' deffinatley ready, then you have to wait until she is. Girls are different from boys, and it takes them lnger to understand and be happy with their body, as they have more worries on their mind.
Talk to her about it, its all you can do, but your' still yound, just like me i see from your' age &you have a long time yet before you have to hurry ito anything, wait untill the timings right, you only get one chance to make your' first time perfect, whether is oral, sex etc.
hope this helps x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionsorry about repeating myself in the first line didnt relise lol
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A
male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (15 June 2008):
 I wouldn't suggest oral for another year or so until you're legal because her parents won't be too happy with you and her and may even prevent you from seeing each other.
For now just keep it with kissing. I'm sure it can wait.
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