New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login245057 questions, 1084625 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Should I go for a threesome?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 January 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 27 January 2014)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *eyland-Yutani writes:

So, Uni drama again. Bloody Uni eh?

So someone I met in first year, liked him for ages, tried to get with him for ages, we had a sexual thing but other than that we never really went anywhere, he pretty much friendzoned me soon as he could, then went back to his ex (Who he spent the whole time telling me he hated)

Technically I'm not giving the whole story there. He had a pretty bad time emotionally during the first year, and pretty much he blames that on why he broke up with his ex. ANYWAY, I'm rambling.

Given that he and his ex know how I feel, and that at one point his ex stayed away from a social event 'cause he knew at one point while drunk that I hated him (admittedly for something that wasn't his fault but hey, a guy can be jealous right?), it's odd that they've now asked me to have a threesome with them. My friend claims it's because he trusts me and therefore if they wanted to do it he'd want to do it with someone he trusts.

Now there's two schools of thought here. My first ex, although admittedly there is still a small part of me hung up on him, we still get it on every so often and it hasn't screwed me up at all. Or maybe it has, I'm not in a position to judge. But I feel like going into a threesome here couuuuuld cause a liiiiittle emotional turbulence.

The other school of thought is pretty much the base animal instinct. I like him, he's a really good lay, and it'd probably be fun (asides the fact he says his boyfriend is pretty vanillaWHOA TOO MUCH INFORMATION.)

What are your opinions? Is it a good idea? Should I go for it? Or is it too risky?

View related questions: broke up, drunk, his ex, jealous, threesome

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2014):

If you have possessive romantic feelings for him, this will lead to HEARTACHE if you go through with it. I'm not saying 'don't even think about it'. But you need to protect yourself. If the attraction of going through with this 3-way is strong enough, he's an amazing lay, the other guy's a hottie and what you call the 'animal' instinct gets the better of you, feel free. Just be aware that it's not a happy-ever-after white-wedding scenario and you've got to look on it as a beautiful present with two gorgeous men: and the day after, you might feel 'oh god that was a mess' or 'that was wonderful and I want more'. If YOU decide that overrides any risk of emotional fallout, you're the one in charge: if so, have fun, treat yourself and DON'T judge yourself. If you're not sure it's a good cal, then don't do it. Just don't let yourself be used. x

<-- Rate this answer

A reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2014):

It's the beginning of a drama.

Jealousy is going to flare up again. You might not show one guy enough attention. You like one. and don't like the other. So the one who gets the least attention is going to be angry.

This is not a good idea! You and his ex really don't like each other, and there could be some rivalry between you.

Who came up with this idea, and why?

How do you hate someone one minute; and want to jump into bed in a three-way the next?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (23 January 2014):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, it sounds like a clusterF*** of a mistake. Pardon my English.

Sounds like they just want to use your body, this isn't about how they like you are or attracted to you, it's SIMPLY because they know you "might" say yes.

You are still a "little" hung up on the ex, so whether you like it or not keeping your emotions out of this might not b doable. The fact that you are questioning it instead of saying LET'S DO IT! makes me think that you LIKE the idea, but not really the reality of it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (23 January 2014):

BrownWolf agony aunt

NEVER a good idea. But you can try, as long as you are ready to deal with the consequences after. No real friend will ask another friend to do something that could ruin their friendship. He is thinking with the little head not the big one.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Should I go for a threesome?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312821000043186!