A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been in love with this man for 8 years. He has a 9 yr. old son and is committed to the mother They live in the philipines. He visits them every year for 1 month. He is not married to her but says But I have a son. I want him but he won't commit to me. Do I have a chance with him? I am 52 and he is 62. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Viktobi  +, writes (24 January 2014):
My dear,Ah this sounds very familiar. One thing I have learnt about men....is that....if they really really want you. They will do god on earth to have you.You say 8 years now? And still no commitment? Here are my thoughts to this.....It is time to move on. You want a commitment and he is unable to give it to you. Don't waste any more time. Take care of you and take that courageous step to meeting someone new - who will NOT take you for granted.Let him miss you. After all there is a saying that says "you don't know what you have had until it's finally gone....(something along that line, but you feel my drift)who knows if he realizes by then or never even bothers. The point is during this distance you took care of you, surrounded yourself amongst good friends, great wine and a hobby you have always wanted to take up.Good luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2014): Forget about it. If he isn't ready to commit after 8 years I would rather take my chances on George Bush giving me an oil well.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 January 2014):
 not a snowballs chance in hell...
he is not interested in a committed relationship with you and hides behind the "I have a child" statement because he's not even man enough to tell you the truth.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 January 2014):
 No, you don't have a chance with him, sorry. You'd know it after 8 years. You're young and have lots of good years to enjoy with someone who IS available and is willing to commit. Why waste precious time?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 January 2014):
 After 8 years? Don't you think the "answer" to your question is self-evident?
Hint: He ain't gonna be "yours"... probably ever...
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (23 January 2014):
 Are you just good friends? Do you live together? Do you see eachother often?
Have you asked him if there is a potential relationship between you?
It's really hard to be in love with someone when they do not love you back. I was in a similar situation with a man for 6 years. We were friends, we were intimate, saw eachother often, he would call and text almost every day...but he didnt want to be in a relationship with me. It broke my heart and I told him many times how I felt and would stop seeing him but he always came around and would get quite annoyed if I wouldn't keep touch. He always won me over because i hoped he would change his mind. He then told me quite cooly that he had found someone he wanted to be in a relationship with but he wanted to stay friends!!!
I decided that was enough for me and I did what I should have done a long time ago, changed my number and cut him off. He sent a letter to say that he missed me and hoped I was OK, I never replied.
I don't think it's possible to stay friends with these men who's hearts lay elsewhere, it's too painful and wastes many years of your life. I am glad I had the courage to let him go. I do think about him all the time but at least there can be no more damage done.
It's up to you if you want to hang on, some people find the 'friendship' is enough and won't give it up, but others find the emotional pain is just too hard to live with and you never quite feel good enough.
If you asked me 'do you have a chance after 8 years?' based on my experience I would say no.
...but who really knows.
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