A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm stuck and need advice, I have never had a proper boyfriend and I am in my late 20s, I just never feel attracted to anyone or if I do they never feel the same. I feel for someone at work and he said he was interested in me but doesn't want anything heavy, I was quite happy with this as I have never been with anyone and it was a little experience without it beng full on, we have kissed and done some other stuff, I have given him a hand job although he has asked for a blow job. He know wants to go further (sex) but just as friends and I really want to but I am terrified as I'm not very confident. He is very experienced and confident and I want to. I have said that I want to and that I'm nervous and he said that's ok he understands. I know what you are thinking I should have more respect for myself and wait for someone special but I can't see this happenening any time soon and my friend says I should just go for it because you only live once. I must also say that we no longer work together and I actually didn't think he would keep in touch.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 I like the saying: Don't crap where you eat... (don't date/sleep with people you work with)
Just remember that if you sleep with him, there is no guaranty that he will all of a sudden want to have a relationship. If you are not a casual sex kind of person you are bound to get your feelings hurt.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): i think you should have sex when you really want to and when your conformable with it,
since he doesn't want anything heavily, i think the decision is all yours, do you want it this way? do you want something special? etc.
people have sex for different reasons, so i think you should do it when it feels right for you, if you afraid think it over, and only consider yourself in your thought ( what do you want and need) and then make your decision.
wish you the best
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A
male
reader, gridrunner +, writes (21 September 2010):
Well,of course if you have sex with this guy it could make you have more feelings for him which could be a bad thing, if he doesnt want a relationship with you. You dont want to be someone he calls when he feels he wants to have sex but doesnt offer you anything else.If you were to have sex with him, make sure you do it not with the thought in your heart that it will make him want to have a serious relationship with you. if you have sex with him do it for only yourself. maybe by having some experience with him it can make you more confident when you do meet someone with whom you both want a relationship together. If you were to have sex be the one in control of the situation. Say to yourself this will be just a one or two time thing, then you be the one to say no more otherwise you will risk having your feelings hurt. just becareful the last thing you want is for this to leave you feeling used
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