A
male
age
36-40,
*oboaxe
writes:I am very close to giving up on this girl and I just want to see if I should or if there is still hope. I met her a couple months ago at Wondercon, we connected well and I got her number. After a couple text exchanges (with very delayed responses from her) for the next few weeks, she said she was free on a Saturday, and we agreed to meet up at a park. We met, had a fun time talking to each other (we actually have plenty of things in common, I genuinely do like her), and we ended up walking to my apartment (which is next to the park) and made out. I said I'd like to see her again, she said she would as well, and then told me she would be free the week after next. We even held hands when I walked her back to her car.Now here is the problem. We STILL haven't met up, I last saw her in the beginning of June. Every time I text her or call her to meet up, she is always busy."Hey, saw you called. Sorry, I was visiting my cousins last night and didn't have my phone on me" "Hey. Sorry, I was at a photo shoot with some friends""I think I'm fighting off a cold right now, so I'm not sure if the beach will be best yet or not (she suggested we go to the beach), but I'll let you know" "Hey, sorry. My friend just went through a bad break up so I'm helping her out this weekend" And most recently: "I'm helping a friend almost all day Saturday and Sunday I have some family stuff going on, so not really :/"Is it even remotely possible that all these excuses are true? Part of me wants to believe so just because she keeps replying back. Usually when they are made up they stop replying after the second excuse. So, what should I text back? Or leave in a voicemail? Thanks for any help, it is truly appreciated.
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male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (21 January 2015):
Roboaxe is verified as being by the original poster of the question Update!
She finally texted me back after I texted her saying I can't seem to guess when she's free, and to let me know if she'd like to hang out again sometime.
She said "I'm busy this week, but we can hang out next week as friends"
I may have been sad, but I said.
"I have enough friends. It was nice meeting you"
And that was that. Thanks for the help! You were all correct, she was brushing me off.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 July 2014):
 I'd let it go... her excuses may be legit but without a counter offer she's not really interested.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (31 July 2014):
 So she keeps sending you back messages which all basically mean that "I can't because . . .", perhaps she is done with you already. She did like you, especially if she was the one suggesting where to go and when etc. Maybe she truly likes you and her excuses are valid or she's done but will feel a little bad telling you straight out that she doesn't wish to continue seeing you. If I were you I wouldn't call or text her, this way if she contacts you first to make new plans then you'd have your answer as to whether she is done or her excuses were valid. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (31 July 2014):
 Five excuses and no real offers to reschedule?
I'd take it as a polite brush-off. You haven't had a date since the beginning of June and we are now at the end of July. I wonder if she's started dating someone else, doesn't know if that will work out just yet.
Or maybe she liked you but just not enough.
Rather than text or leave a voice mail, I would call her and ask her out but then I'm an old-fashioned type who didn't have to set up dates or get to know someone via text. Call, ask the person out, they are on the spot and have to say yea or nay.
You've had essentially five nays. I would taper off on the texts and see if she reaches out to you. If she does not, well then, you'll know the reply texts are more of a reflex than anything else.
Keep on going, keep on asking women out and do not take this personally. (I know that sounds idiotic but honestly it's the smartest way to approach the crazy dating thing.)
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