A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:HelloI will start from the beginning. While at college I got very close to one guy in my year, we will call him Harry (he's not really called Harry). We had a 'bit of a thing' for 2 years, he would stay at my house, we would disappear at house parties, we didn't really go out anywhere, he always came round to my house. We both went to University after that, we saw each other in the holidays, when I went to cat sit at my aunties he would come round for the weekend and we had the house to ourselves. We talked and shared. He told me all about his family and how he feels about his dad. In our third year of uni he implicated that we would be together when we both finished uni. He told me that when his housemates asked him about his love life he said he was seeing a girl from home. I felt like we were practically a couple we just never said it. Now we have finished uni, i mentioned it when we went out for a meal the other day and he shyed away from the conversation. I could see he didnt want to talk about it, but on the other hand he paid and walked me home (i was going to offer to split the bill). Now he is taking ages to text me back, and it's difficult restraining the urge to text him. I thought we were past playing games - who texts who first. I know what i want which is to be with him, but what i can't decide it should i keep going or should i give up on him? I don't want to give up on him, I see us being together and i think we would be perfect, but is he just messing me around for too long? I know its not a good reason but I'm also scared not to have someone.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 November 2016):
 I don't think Harry wants a relationship with you am afraid. I know he may have said it but still it was only words. It sounds like you where both friends with benefits. Always sneaking off for sex never going on dates. Empty words and promises he then backs off when you ask him. I don't think you should keep waiting because you may end up getting really hurt. If he is going to avoid you then accept he does not want more than sex. Start dating and meeting new guys and getting over him. Don't let him suck you back in unless he is going to give you commitment.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 November 2016):
 Wow! All that time and you have no idea whether you are in a relationship or not?
And you are afraid of being alone at the (maximum) age of 21?
Sweetheart, you have your life ahead of you. Start dating other men. You will either find someone you like who does not play games (because that is exactly what "Harry" is doing - he is keeping you as a safety net while offering you no commitment) or "Harry" will wake up and realize what he stands to lose if he doesn't start behaving decently. Let's hope both things don't happen simultaneously.
For what it's worth, "Harry" sounds like he wants you as a friend and, if all else fails, a partner, but you are not his first and only choice.
Get out there and live your life. Good luck.
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