A
male
age
41-50,
*eekinglove
writes:I keep attracting bad girls. I'm quite okay looking and tall. I guess I'm super nice and well mannered, but I'm quite shy and nervous when I meet girls. I basically do what I'm told and then get taken advantage of. . As soon as they know I am very rich, they treat me as an ATM. Over the last few years, I have paid years of rent for girls, bought Chanel handbags, macbooks, new iphones etc. All I wanted was to find real love, but every girl pretends to be interested and then either cheats on me or focuses on my wallet.So I met a new girl recently - 31 years old and very beautiful. I have been attracted for her for months while we catch the train to work everyday. She sits opposite me nearly everyday, though I wanted to talk to her I didn't because I'm quite shy. Out of no where she strikes a conversation with me and then we started chatting every day, mainly on instant messenger. I get her mobile and also text her on WhatsApp quite frequently. I'm no very good at gauging whether girls are interested or not, or even playing hard to get or whatever. Idiotically I asked her out for a lunch after a few days of knowing her and she politely said she was busy but maybe mid-May. Then a few days past and I asked if mid-May was still good and then she said, she is still busy how about July. Then I basically stopped asking because it feels bad to get rejected every time.I get to know this girl's personality better through conversations and she is anti-money and is basically the kindest person I've met. Very honest and genuine. For some reason she takes 3-4 hours to reply to my texts or messages and I find it quite weird but she did say she is quite busy. After 3 weeks or so, I find out she is a big fan of BBC Sherlock. So am I! So what I did was from the bottom of my heart bought a USD$8000 gift for her and wished to surprise her. I actually thought about not telling her it was me as I really thought that she would have appreciated it more. In passing conversation, I mentioned to her that I will surprise her next week and she got angry saying she doesn't like surprises and told me I don't listen to her. I started getting scared and backed off. So since I had already paid $8000 for this gift for her from the Sherlock series, I went to England to pick it up due to the cost. Probably costed me in total $20,000USD for a 1 day trip to England! However, I am not interested in impressing her or whatever now. Recently, she went to Taiwan for a holiday. I sent her WhatsApp text messages but she doesn't reply to any now. Maybe she hates me? I can see her online but not sure if she is angry with me or something. As such, I think its time for me to accept that she doesn't like me or not interested and that I shall give up. Since the surprise came from my heart and is custom made for her, what I'm going to do is next week leave the gift on her work desk and accept she isn't interested to know me more. I don't know how to get to know this girl more if she keeps rejecting me and takes half a day to reply to messages. I originally thought maybe she likes me, but I think she is way too good for me and I'm scared of another rejection. It's so hard to meet good girls, when I find one I mess it up by rushing or maybe too in her face or something. I'm ready to give up and cry, my whole life is full of love failures and its now getting hard to contemplate maybe there are no good women out there. By giving her the gift, I didn't want to impress her. I just knew deep down this was supposed to be what I needed to do. The cost and time to do it meant nothing to me and even the end result. I don't expect her to like me because she probably thinks I'm annoying now. However, should I give up or just accept she probably thinks I'm an idiot?I know I think too much, but hard not to when you feel so much love inside. I don't even know why I went to England to do this for her. Just felt like it was the right thing to do! Thanks.
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female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (8 May 2012):
There are good women, don't give up!
This girl sounds like she has played with your feelings, been ungrateful and rude to you.
Forget about her. Be polite if you see her but do not continue with your correspondance.
Carry on being yourself and meeting people and the right woman will turn up, I feel absolutely sure of it.
A
female
reader, Enya1979 +, writes (8 May 2012):
 As a girl i can say that i would never let a guy wait for my reply for so long . Maybe a little bit, to make him desire me more, but not long. This means that you should not have your hopes so high. wait for her to come to you. And do not get her the gift you got. It is too early in the relationship for sth so expensive anyways. I belive that you give more than you get in relationships. This is not good. it feels like you are trying to buy love. There are nice girls out there that do not care about these expensive gifts. I personally would feel uncomfortable if a guy would give me expensive gifts all the time, because i would not have the means to buy sth as expensive to him. So if you want to find true love, stop trying to pay for it. I think that you are too scared to be refused, so you use your money to get what you want. If women treat you like an ATM it is because you let them treat you like that. This means that you should make small but important gestures (that are not too expensive) in the begining. When you like a girl, take her for a picnic at the beach or montain (and by picnic i don't mean in a five star restaurant), cook a romatic dinner at home (not order it), get her flowers (women love flowers), send her a romatic letter once in a while telling her that you care. These old fashioned techniques are timeless. Of course women like jewelery as well :), but not from the begining. Not in the first two months at least... Otherwise you will always find girls that are more interested in your money, than you.Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, seekinglove +, writes (8 May 2012):
seekinglove is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the reply. She finally replied to me. She said I write too much and she doesn't know what to say. Kinda feel disappointed because I put so much effort in chasing her but I'm kind of unappreciated. I do appreciate a dinner with a female and slowly getting to know them. Though, its virtually impossible to have face-to-face contact as she is busy and she doesn't seem too keen to talk to me even on text.I asked her a few times for a quick coffee and got rejected. But I see her have coffees with other colleagues sometimes but too busy to say hi to me. Even the other day I went up to her desk and said hi, and she ignored me. She mentioned she didn't see me or hear me when I asked later. :(I just feel so bad everyday and I can't control why I have feelings for her. I hate myself so much... I even spent hours looking on google how to fall out of love with someone. I guess I will stop finding her now. I'm scared she will hurt me. I promised myself this will be the last time I try to love a girl. From this onwards, I will just stay single forever.
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A
female
reader, mpumie  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 Stop attracting woman with expensive gift. A woman will love you without anything. If you really want a real woman stop buying love. Before you do anything get to know the person first before you can assume that they like you.
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (8 May 2012):
 You sound like a really nice guy. I think you should let this girl go. Stop contacting her and if she wants to talk to you, she will do that. Don't chase her.
Money is nice, but it isn't everything. I think you should invest more time with a girl and get to know her and not buy her expensive gifts. Some girls are just gold diggers, it's not cool... Take someone out on a date and buy her dinner, that's all. Too many people are texting, ect... Real contact and actually being with someone is the key to happiness a.k.a the old fashion way lol ;) Nothing is greater in life than a good conversation and just being together.
Start simple and wait for as long as you can before the girl you really like knows you have money. This way you will truly find out if she is genuine and intrested in you for you. :D
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