A
female
age
51-59,
*uby444
writes:Hi everyone, I'm hoping someone can give me some guidance with a problem I have.I have been seeing my partner for a year now and I'd say it's a beautiful relationship. We get along fine and don't have any problems. We have little rows now and then but only very minor.From the very start, he told me he would be going to Brazil for 6 months to see his daughter who lives there with her Mom (his ex wife). I am fine with this.He has always said he'd like me to wait for him and I'm more than happy to do this as we have something really special. when we were chatting the other night, he said that when he gets back, his head is going to be all over the place and he can't promise things will go back to how they are. He says he can see a future for us and that I make him very happy.This is my problem. If I wait for him for 6 months, missing him so much and counting the days until he gets back THEN he decides that he doesn't want to be with me then that would break my heart. I had a very traumatic break up a few years back and I can't deal with another broken heart.I don't know if to say goodbye and see what happens or just wait and hope hope we can continue.Thank you so much in advance.
View related questions:
ex-wife Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 If'n I were you,... I'd take his words to mean that he is going to Brazil with the intention of it being a "scouting mission"... wherein he can act as if he is single.... AND, by the way, see if he can re-kindle things with the "ex-"....
AND I suggest that you NOT sit around and moon over him while he's gone. HE's really "set the agenda" for this incident... and YOU need to be sure that you don't live with a far-different agenda (from his) in his absence.....
P.S. You have my permission to show this response to him and ask him how accurate it is, relative to his intentions.
Good luck...
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 December 2013):
 Wow if he said that to me I'd say "go have a nice time, don't worry about me, I'll be fine but I think we need to not be committed for those 6 months"
that way you can date and be free to meet new folks and he can be free to do whatever it is he's planning to do.
I am not sure that GOING to see his child for SIX months with the baby mama is just about the child.... are you sure he is not with his "ex" six months on and 6 months off?
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (31 December 2013):
 I won't be fine with it. You were responding with a kind heart, considering that the girl needs to see her father but the trip won't benefit you in anyway. It's a long trip. Did you ask him why it couldn't be a yearly trip lasting 3 to 4 weeks? Does he work in Brazil half of the year? Most likely he's staying at his ex wife's.
I would just tell him I would be casually dating other people and can't promise things will go back to how they were. I think he's telling you that he doesn't trust himself to be celibate for the whole 6 months.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): If we follow the path of what he has said .. Then ... Really we are looking at that your bf still has feelings for his baby's mama and when he comes home, those feeling may be fuelled by his visit .. I think deep down what I have put above you have already guessed .. So if it were me, I think now is the time to have the honest heart to heart chat ..You are not second best .. You are not even going to second guess him .. He is going to explain fully what he means by that comment !!If he means the above... Then no do not wait .. Do not except anything that seem to not make sense as if it doesn't make sense it's normal nonsense .. 6 months is a long time to wait .. Wondering .. Without some sort of commitment from the other person .. It's a waste of your time and energy .. So no I would start to prepare now for his withdrawal .. Cease being around when he texts calls .. Limit seeing him .. Who knows it may put the wind up him to see you more powerful in control .. You are special . You deserve more than he is willing to give .. It will hurt I'm not saying it will be easy but as your aware of your sanity doesn't need this nor your heart ..Take care all the best for 2014
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2013): Could you two take an official break for those 6 months then see where it goes when he turns?
...............................
|
